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Planned week start is what makes the Control Freak in me Hap hap happy....
Specially when it is a day of many firsts...
First day of kids school post festive break
First day of domestic help absentism
First day of diet reboot after a planned Sunday hog...
First day of an anticipatory woohoo with hubby timing the bio clock safety
wink wink
First day of feel good after a weekend hustle putting together a creative project for a friend...
And yes...First dawn after saying an ASSERTIVE NO... to someone I wish really dear for...
Off for finding out miracles in the mundane...
Embracing fantabulousness
Ciao...
Another eventful day in the diary of an urban mum... brand new set of weights was introduced to me by my dear fitness trainer... and whoa man they are good... i mean real good!!! the workout was fantabulous... tons of adrenaline pumping. sweet sweat of muscle power? Proved yet again that a good workout session is way better than most awesome orgasm in a lifetime. did my morning routine jig... went to a place that i did not want to be, but was surprised to find time for myself. talking to oneself as in self dialogue is extremely crucial. realised many things.
With the onset of winter, the wind of longing go beyond tolerance levels... The storms inside blow up... cooling down the aura with anticipation.... yes HE is coming. The moment I ve been waiting for is right here...only about 3 weeks to go and He ll be right in front of my eyes... What kind of vibrations will the grand entity carry, is beyond my humane imagination... My love for him has just grown day by day into something that can only be felt by an energy presence. my soul is already at that moment when our eyes will meet. was the love of meera purer or truer than radha 's? what relationship would they share? little did i realise that coming from one source, we are just fragments of each other and loving others actuallizes self love... the energy that this kind of love generates is more than nuclear fusion or atomic fission... it is surreal... beyond understanding of our brain... what matters at the end of the day that HE is god for me... I am his, He is mine... We are ONE...
There has been an undermining urge to express... may it be in dressing, talking or penning down. Its been hard to suppress this desire... as funny as it may seem, I am close to shutting down my stress lobes in brain just to emerge calm and untethered beneath.
on the other side I go expo shopping like youngsters go club hopping. call it the 30s syndrome call it the unsatiating urge to feel look and be young... nothing no matter any damn thing can stop me... feeling like a two faced woman with split personality as i turn on to the very right side of Thirty... Diwali is just round the corner, so many things to be done... yet I am chilled...
what i seem to panic about are the least imp. things.... of all minor things like smiling more in the day or making it a point to read a page before I sleep... too many things in cramped compartments of this brain... guess i need some more retail therapy... currentky the only way to nirvana... ahem.... I meant AMEN...
;P
hogging syndrome
slacked activity
water retention
flesh bag
bogged self esteem
low aspiration
lazy bum
mood fluctuations
failed attempts
harsh criticism
secret tears
unsolicited advice
initiation
temptations
sweat
breath
hours
plans
discipline
loss
expectations
more loss
hard work
results
visible difference
success
In his recent blog, Guruji talks about being a ZDP zero desire person in order to refine the soul in its purification journey to bring about the highest level of evolution a spiritual seeker desires... every strong want we project becomes an intent and is recorded and every such recording must be enjoyed or suffered in a physical form regardless of which or howmany lifetimes we take to fulfill it... adding on to the already humongous backlog attached to our soul in our numerous previous lifetimes.... the backlog becomes huge...if we become a ZDP , our compulsion for taking a physical human life will reduce we will only do so for our spiritual growth. The advantage of not having a backlog of desire to be fulfilled means that the circumstances and opportunities for increasing negative karma are drastically reduced...Desire is at the root of all negativity and all negative attributes. So when desire becomes zero we have chopped off the very root of the tree that holds all the negative qualities. The tree can only dry up and fall. In short the whole edifice on which our anger, expectations, attachment, greed, hatred, jealousy etc was built, will come crashing down. Much like how detonators are exploded simultaneously at strategic points at the base of a building to bring the entire structure crashing down. Ending desire is a one stroke demolition of a number of negatives which are otherwise hard to remove from the subconscious of the ignorant soul. its his exact words to be desireless is a shortcut in this journey... quoting him in blogs makes me revise the lessons he has taught in order to be one step closer to the source...the final journey...
