FB quitting : social networking detox

And so I managed to stay off FB from 1 st July to late 8 th July. Which makes it a week long hiatus. It was amazing to be out of touch of the external triggers. It may have not brought me inwards or may not have created any deep impact however it has definitely led me to believe that such breaks are mandatory.
               So the big day arrived on 8th and the day went so fast. Inspite of not getting enough sleep the night before (read I slept from 4 am to 7.30 am) I was alert but surprisingly calm. Things moved smoothly. House was a circus with 7 adults and 3 kids in a two bedroom apartment with 8 suitcases of the guests shifting to the US occupying all of my studio room. Yes there was chaos , yes there was noise, but however I was peaceful from within. I knew it would be right and ofcourse it has to be and it so was... It was my Guruji's day after all. The performance , the look, the time, the management, the backstage, the discipline, the aesthetics, the audience, the musicians, the performers everything was impeccable.
                  The day got even better when I received a good news of sakshat my sadguru Mahavtar Babaji sitting through my singing performance on that day. I know for sure that my soul is blessed and I am loved and looked upon.
                  So on request of my beloved friend Chitrang I logged in to FB for accepting his tag. Another kind friend Clicked awesome photographs of the show and then I had to update and upload it all and tag my performer students. Thousands of likes , comments , texts, phonecalls and messages have humbled me to my core and have made me aware of what responsibility lies ahead. With Guruji in tow I am sure the journey is mesmerising and as exciting as always. Tasmay Shree Guruve Namah.

FB quit - Day 4,5 & 6...

So the hectic week peaks towards the end. Classes , rehearsals, Kanha cub at home and my patience levels at an all time low. Show plan turned 180 degrees with a new band coming in and the full performance coming over my shoulders. I bogged under pressure n fell sick. My body gave up to the emotional stress however with the grace of my Guru and well wishers and friends prayers I was fine today. The rehearsals rocked.
I came home to chaos... Yes I feel out of place when there is talking and noise around
I don't like being asked many questions when I m in my own sweet somber .
The royal ladies of the house aka my mom and my grandmom along with cub made sure they made lot of noise.
I wanted to be all by myself.
This is a particular time when I like to be by myself and have quiet around... Alas... Even now while I want to type my heart out , this critter who can read is watching my every word. Damn you sleepy child (aka son) go to sleep like a normal 6 year old. It's 11pm !
Tomorrow there would be more noise with foreign visiting relatives land up.
The routine gets jitters and the show proximity creates ripples. However I ll make sure my focus is fixed. How I long for some drenched words of poetry by my bedside table. The routine mundaneness of domestic life kind of challenges the artist within. But both must thrive... The domestic goddess as well as the wanderer, the seeker, the wonderer , the soul... Together in this mad chaos... Amen!

FB quit - Day 3 : Superworking Monday

Today started way early and how... Had a 14-15 hour work day and hence had set an alarm for 6.30 am. Woke up by myself at 6.15 sharp. Cooked two meals and got ready. Reached Andheri West Jampad 5 mins early than the call time of 9am.
Other musicians as usual came at 10.30 am
Till then I spoke to the very funny Prince Mishra aka caretaker and pseudo rocker of Yari road... He narrated me the enticing kissas of musicians and singers who come there to jam. He narrated his native story from Allahabad and how he came to Mumbai and settled here, about his father's death in an accident and about his wish to do 'seva' of his mother in her old age. A boy as young as 23 narrated everything so unpretentiously, showed me his silver stud cap and his microphone bing pendant. Human library was open for the morning, I didn't sing , but I surely learnt a lot. Observed him....
Once the rehearsals started the vocal chords conditioned to the sound ambience and reverb of the place. I thoroughly enjoyed the jamming and practiced my songs for good 4 times over. Once done chatted with my co-singer on our favorite topic our Guruji and spirituality as we had lunch. Then we quickly restarted practice and got over early at 4 pm. So naturally I reached my class venue within 20 mins that leaves me time till 6 pm when the class starts. I listened to some music, made some calls and then , well observed ppl , children, parents and teachers in this school going around. It is indeed a human library to sit out in the open on this ground and do nothing but watch , as the life passes by.
Yes this blog has been narrative kind, my day is just half done as I make use of the peaceful time here to type. The climate is hot , humid and I am tired. Yes I d like a shower and would love to crash in bed. But there lies ahead 30 students with curious minds and willingness to learn...
This evening's hold ,new admissions , exam announcements , batch practice, my personal Riyaz and dance rehearsals for Saturday's show. Until I type again tomorrow morning , here is a tired by quiet soul signing off from outdoors.
LoRD bless.

FB quit Day 2 - Emotional outburst.

And so I quit FB somewhere around yesterday evening. It got to me , it became to pretentious. I accepted that I was getting the high of positive reward feedback for my brain and needed to get it required to pause , absorb, assimilate, process, hold in, hold on and recreate/reproduce. It had become the cult of slavery wherein I d be logged on and scrolling through the timelines at any given hour. Enough said than done I wanted to post every second of my life and mind everyone I had literally begin to perform my life.
Then I thought , why this? When my very own Guru who is such an enlightened entity stays away from limelight and public glare, un bothered, untethered by the chaotic humdrum around. I had to be inspired, I had to be productive and a doer than a watcher and a scroller. So I am not counting days when I say 21  since it began on an evening (who is judging anyways )
But for this month it is going to be the show on 8 th and then my Himachal trip.
I am sure to hustle at work and play at party when I ought to do what I ought to do.
I want this month to be a clean dream ride. With no crutches.
Yesterday I went off the radar and felt miserable when I swiped through screens and failed to find the comforting blue icon across. I was frustrated and angry at myself (I am glad that I can describe the emotions so clearly )
Then I binge ate (something which I rarely do)
I told myself come on, let it all come out...
Bring it on... I had an argument with Grandma, fought with Kanha and stayed up all night cribbing for nothing.
But this had to happen. These are weaning signs and for good. The very fact that I woke up feeling like posting a blog I am sure that I am in store for good.
I also wrote a poem yesterday and unknowingly and also in frustration. It was dying to come out. Lol... So I will officially say this is day 2. If this looks up, I may even think of quitting it for 100 days... Or maybe not. It's too early to think.
I know there are going to be temptations. But I m going to chill.
The show pics may not be updated , I won't be tagged in memes. I may not get the likes and loves and wows. So it is Okay to not be popular and the selfie queen that I am , for a while.
It's raining beautifully now and though I am terribly sleep deprived at this moment , I am in it.
It's a Sunday morning and I have this day to my experience. I must take inspiration from Advait and keep going that extra mile for every bit that I do. Read, write,  express draw illustrate. Such an exciting ride to see... Ciao...

The morning after...

Wee hours of early dawn
On an an old chestnut door
Sticks on a Bougainville leaf
With seasonal raindrops
Drying over its withered brown
Humming birds from woods afar
Fly closer to this temple's bells
That swing with strong winds
And the sleeping baby
Turns it's face 
away from the lightening sky above...
The porch is dim lit humid stuffy and cold
Occasional fireflies crash the dull
Her glass bangles tinkle aloud
As she walks in haste
Through the dark courtyard
Grass bordering the moss covered stones
Makes sure her speed is held back
With conscious gait
Her hands of sound dust the leaf off the door
It creeks , toddler disturbed
The dome fills with its half asleep cry
She quickly lights the lamp
Burns incense
And places as an offering
A bundle of moist crumpled notes
Earned from the night before
Joining her hands in prayer
Not forgetting to collect them back
As she opens her sleep deprived eyes
Gobbling down the offerings by other seekers
She seeks solace, lying tired
Beside her infant, letting it suckle
future from today's calm heart
As it beats with the rhythm of the bells
She, her offspring and God...
This moment is home

- Prajakta Sathe.