This is from a recent trip I made. With a tiny doubt in mind , I set for a journey with my folks... my relations by blood and by birth along with a few people whom I was supposed to be with. I always start journeys with hesitancy and somehow every time it fades out as the travel period progresses... We start later than we were supposed to, but i neither crib nor complain. I am okay, this time I have taken everything more than required... stuff and time both... ample is one thing , abundance is another... I collect things in anticipation, I am boring that way... I plan and execute with precision... I rarely like surprises however I d like to improve on Spontaneity... thats been a personal goal for long... in the bag there is now a book and a pen... earlier it used to be a book to read... now I require pages to write.... and ample... sometimes I feel like scribbling sometimes I like to doodle n draw... random memoirs penned down... outspurs jotted down in points thoughts or sentences...
Not that reading it bad.... but I find it thoroughly over rated... so is writing. Anyone can and must write... it's no big deal... when I write I suffer a bout of verbal diarrhoea ,complain my friends and I write too much... one must always do things one enjoys... do u ever complain that you get way too much salary? Lol.... no right? And thank God I don't have a fan base yet... I do have followers who read my stuff. But for most reasons they read it out of curiosity more than their liking for my style. Maybe because I don't have a style... I am not a student of literature neither have I ever been trained in writing. However I know that I can write and I must write just like any other man or woman can and must...
Just another thing that I d like to jot down... I ve got some 67 odd friend requests on a single day and they seem to pour in and pile up with time.... I had no mood to go through them... however out of curiosity I checked last time and the requests were 116 on Facebook. Like... really? And why? Why so now? And why suddenly ? My filters are proper... only friends of friends can send me requests... but then again... it shouldn't affect me... however it is to an extent bothering me.... anyways... that's a part of what I am thinking about....
A lot many things are coming true via wishful thinking.... I was thinking about a pending payment that I was receive and it arrives in my account within a few hours... things are extremely meticulously planned to perfection...
No matter how much we push, they will always happen when they have to... in this way I seldom think about how and how long I have come from. At a time I can see myself... I was extremely low on confidence , conscious to death, closed and timid girl to what I am today...
I opened up and started accepting consciously out of choice... this was more of a confident embrace to situations in life... there were lessons and then there were lessons... some surprises, a few dud pricks...
I have started to realise the humongous pressure of the What now ? Or now what? And then? - questions... these don't give you space to breathe and for me Breathers are more important than the actual important events in life...
The gaps prepare us to face the Fulls... when I was sitting in the car, I was cold then I was very hot, I was sleep deprived yet my mood wasn't shifted to the wrong side. We listened to a lot of music, surprisingly I sang many many songs.... after a point... The music too got boring... how much would one listen? Then we switched everything off... no one spoke anything... it was beautiful listening to Silence... we ate when we got hungry and closed our eyes when we wanted to... this ready to go jumping girl in me was good and well under control...
And I am happy to be here at Wai , where life has slowed down..
For good...
- Prajakta Sathe.
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