How does it matter?

I rekindled my connection with a soul out of an inner calling to reach out. When Guruji trains us on spiritual path we are taught to try to be like our Guru, our God and think like Divinity. To be non judgemental and to treat each soul as equal and from the same source. If my Guru sees each soul as one then why can't I see everyone around as equal? In the sense of giving chances to the relationships and tap every bit of its potential. I contradict my own statement earlier that I have an inner circle and an outer one where I decide who gets close who gets my time who gets my company and at the same time I try to think and be like Divinity. There is a hitch here which I am going to ask Guruji. Because on one hand we are supposed to be non pretentious and see everyone with no filters and spectacles and on the other hand we also have to be selective and choose our compatible vibration and mingle with souls on a plane similar to ours.
Here the blueprint and freewill give me a tough choice to follow. Plus we are said to connect or come into each others life for a purpose. When do we know that a role is over? With death? With legal separation? With physical distance? What about the emotional bonds? Where does the longing and inner yearning lead us to? Are we falling pray to our humane attachments by rekindling old ties and holding on? Are we not embracing change and being in the now?
Am I playing it safe so that I get best from both the worlds??? What could be the reason that I can sense that my physical presence needs validation from people I yearn for? At one point my sadhana is regular, my Riyaz is super consistent , my Guru is happy. What more do I want? Yet I feel a void.... And the lack of higher purpose too. Would I end up being just born to lead a comfortably mediocre life and die without no real spiritual progress and karma warded?
These questions are scaring my breath off today. Maybe it's just the change of seasons. Maybe it's exhaustion... Maybe I need to call it a day. It's late and both my body and mind need rest. But the soul keeps the yearning alive.... Tirelessly...

Oh how I wish you would get it...
Of every minute that I have spent
Wanting to know
How it feels to be yours
A part of you
And a part of me
That we dreamt of
The days in the farm
The animals in the barn
And the babies we would have
Glistening in your eyes
Tears that refuse to stay
In proud oceans of satisfaction
Tightest hug ever
We made it , your arms say
And you tell me. -
It's your voice and I knew it would
I have won , you say...
Because you sang
And the melody plays in every beat of my heart
Our pulse now Ticks in sync
Our progeny.... musical and blissful
We rebuilt our empire
At a place where the space between two notes resides...

Silence and calm...
Peaceful serene full of joy
I can see happiness...
It's your eyes....