Tale 100

The story dates around 80 years back...
Ratna was the first born daughter to a farmer couple...
Everybody from the family was really happy since at that time having kids were considered as God's gifts....
Ratna was so intelligent that she was known as 'ekpathi' - someone who could memorize by just reading or hearing it once. 
Catastrophe struck when at a young age Ratna was detected with Typhoid and meningitis.
All local cures at their village failed....
After almost a month of being bed ridden, her condition worsened.
Finally on a cold Monday morning, she was declared dead. 
The news reached the nearby village where one of her favorite uncle's stayed....
They were going to wait for him to reach before they cremated her....
While he was coming in a Bullock cart he was stopped by a saintly man...
He asked him, "Is anyone dear to you really sick?"
To which this man (Ratna's uncle) replied, "Not sick, my niece is dead... I m going for her cremation"
The saint gave him some greyish white ash and asked him to apply it to Ratna's forehead sprinkle it over her skull area and place a pinch of it in her mouth....
"But ..She is already gone!" Replied Ratna's uncle...
The saint smiled and left without uttering another word....
Uncle reached his brother's house where the arrangements for the last rites were being made....
He went upto Ratna's body and did what the saint told him....
Within minutes, Ratna opened up her eyes....
Everybody was astonished and awestruck....
He narrated the whole incident to everyone....
From then on wards Ratna was considered precious and treated with extreme care...
Ratna was a bright student, who studied upto her SSC and got married to a renowned architect and moved with him to Mumbai...
She continued her studies post marriage....
Firstly, she completed her BA and a course in Montessori to start a kindergarten at her house.
Till then she had two kids, a daughter aged 5 and son aged 4...
She was indeed a multi tasking lady who managed the house, kindergarten and the kids.
Her husband was doing well and was soon going to be sent abroad for a project.
However, life couldn't be just a rosy ride.
Her husband was having minor kidney stone issues and before going abroad they decided to get it operated. 
The kidney operation which supposed to be a minor surgery went horribly wrong and Ratna was widowed at a young age of 25...
She was offered a job on compassionate grounds in the same govt dept where her husband worked. 
However she wanted to do something on her own and rejected the job offer. 
She took a courageous decision of moving to a tribal village and joined hands with an education visionary lady who had dedicated her life for the welfare of the tribals...
Working with her, setting up a school and teaching while managing two young kids, it was a challenging time....
Her daughter was diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes....
It was a time where there were no refrigeration facilities in the village...
Her daughter took bus to travel to the nearby town for Insulin everyday...
It was challenging to manage her cravings of sugary foods at such a young age...
The family took a decision and decided to sacrifice sweets for her...
Within a few years, Ratna was able to complete M.A. and B.Ed.....
For better life and education for the kids, Ratna decided to move to her husband's ancestral home in the city and left the tribal village.
She started teaching in the same school for which her husband had drawn the architectural plans. 
It was a close knit family and Ratna doubled up as a father and mother to ensure the children don't miss their father.
She had decided never to marry again and devote her life for her children..
The family was one evening watching the movie Anand..After watching the movie, Ratna who had not been keeping well, decided to get a thorough check up done. 
To the shock and horror, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Ratna resolved that she had to live for her kids and there was no way that the almighty would have brought her back from the dead during the childhood to take her away when her kids need her.
It was her daughter's 11th std. (SSc) and younger son's 10th exam....
Ratna decided to pawn all her jewelry to get treated at the best medical facility in India - Tata Cancer Research in Mumbai to avoid what had happened to her husband. 
She recovered after the surgery followed by chemo and their life continued.
The elder daughter got her Masters degree in commerce and passed the banking exam and joined a bank...
She married her senior from college a journalist.... 
Her son also did his M.Com
 and joined an insurance company....
A few years from then, she retired with content from her post as a principal of a school....
She was proud watching her daughter rise to the position of a bank manager and her son the CEO of an insurance company.
After her retirement she planned to live a life of relaxation with her grandchildren and a close knit family....
Destiny however had some other plans...
She got diagnosed with cancer yet again and that too at a stage of no recovery....
Her son and daughter made sure they gave best of the treatments available...
Within a year she passed away contended with life....
In this lifetime, maybe she had written things to ward off much karma together....
With the blessing of the saint early in life, she also got a challenge to face..
Yes she struggled...
Yes she suffered...
Yes she succeeded....
But she couldn't defeat the inevitable.
But she does keep alive in the memories of all her students, siblings, relatives, children and grandchildren as an inspiration to look up to and live by....
Every life is a struggle in some way or the other...
Every life teaches us....
Every soul completes a part of its journey lifetime after lifetime....
All life stories inspire....
‪#‎notsotinytales‬ 
- Prajakta Sathe

Tale 99

Valarie and Jordan had an unusual love story...
They first met at a hospital....
Jordan was down with jaundice and was admitted in the same ward where Valarie's grandmother was recovering post her bypass surgery....
Jordan was constantly visited by his huge circle of friends colleagues and relatives which showed that he was a social person indeed....
He was a Medical Representative working for a pharma company...
He was looking forward to going back to work and feeling fit...
He would strike a conversation with Valarie as she waited patiently besides her grandmom to finish her meals and give company....
Valarie worked as a lab technician in the same hospital at the pathology department.
Hence it was easier to visit her grandmother between her shifts and work hours...
Within a week of their introduction they had already exchanged numbers....
Both were young and in fields related to applied science and medicine....
They had a lot to share and found each other pleasing to be with....
Valarie's grandmother was discharged first...
Jordan still had a few days to go until his reports became normal...
Even after discharge of her grandmom, Valarie came to say hi to Jordan after her duty hours and ended up chatting with him for quite some time...
They became friends....
Jordan was discharged after almost another week....
They met out once he resumed work in a coffee shop...
Then they met at a mall...
Then went for a movie and then they kept meeting....
No one ever said I love you to each other....
It was understood and it was beautiful....
One day Jordan asked Valarie to come and visit his parents 
He had already told them about Valarie and they were eager to meet her...
Valarie was received very warmly at Jordan's home....
Jordan's parents then asked her to tell this to her parents and fix up a meeting....
At Valarie's house an informal engagement took place...
Both families were delighted seeing their children happy and in love...
The marriage took place in the church with family and friends from both sides enjoying to their hearts content....
It was almost like a dream come true moment for the families of Jordan and Valarie...
Marital life was blissful with full cooperation from her in-laws with respect to her changing shift duties at the pathology lab.
A year went by and Valarie gifted Jordan with one of the most precious gifts on their first anniversary....
Her pregnancy report...
Everyone was overjoyed and there were celebrations and baby showers that followed....
A healthy baby boy was born, he was named Zeus...
Since Jordan and Valarie were well read and from a medicine related profession they were keen observers....
They noticed that Zeus never gave big smiles or other warm, joyful expressions by six months, neither back-and-forth sharing of sounds, smiles or other facial expressions by nine months nor babbling sounds, gestures such as pointing, showing, reaching or waving by 12 months....
They got him checked for his optical and hearing development....
He seemed normal...
He did not utter any words by 16 months and hence they took him to a speech therapist who noticed that he not only lacked speech development but also had compromised social skills....
The speech therapist treated Zeus for a few months with little improvement by 24 months....
He was yet not imitating or repeating any words and hence she referred them to a padeatric neurologist for developmental screening...
After several tests they found out that he had ASD Autism Spectrum Disorder
They were calm as parents and immediately started reading up on the subject to understand more and be equipped for what was in store....
They were first puzzled as to why it would happen to them...
They learned that Autism risk factors involved events before and during birth which included advanced parental age at time of conception (both mom and dad), maternal illness during pregnancy and certain difficulties during birth, particularly those involving periods of oxygen deprivation to the baby’s brain.
None of these had happened during Zeus's birth...
However they kept in mind that these factors, by themselves, could not cause Autism. 
Rather, in combination with genetic risk factors, they appeared to modestly increase risk for an occurrence 
So the first step towards treatment was acceptance.... 
They then did everything they could for little Zeus....
It was difficult for them however to come to terms with the fact that Zeus never responded to gentle touch or hugs with affirmative response and warmth...
Though parents with awareness, there were times when they craved for cuddling and affection that other kids could show....
Zeus had sensory and tactile issues...
Though sharp with numbers he grew up with the nurture and care of a great medical team of health care professionals who made life easier for Jordan Valarie and their families...
What they learned as Zeus's parents was - being a parent of a kid with Autism doesn't make them a superhero not even close to being anything super.
They don’t spend enough one-on-one time with each other and its okay, they do lose patience and raise their voice occasionally and yet they are fine. 
They feel really successful on the days when they have kept least expectations and have experienced least disappointment....
They understand that they have a lot of insecurities and many times they do not know what to do. 
They wing themselves by trying to read up as much as they can and rightly so however at the end of the day , they are the ones who ultimately take the decisions and most of the times aren't sure if their decisions are the right ones.
In spite of the above, they are experts when it comes to Zeus even though they can never claim to be experts on autism.
When a teacher or doctor tries to tell them what is best for Zeus instead of asking them to collaborate about what is best for them, they do not make any progress. 
They want to be asked, not told, how to best interact with their child.
They like to talk about Zeus a lot. 
Something seems to happen to women when they give birth.
The number one topic of conversation is no longer clothing, hair products, recipes, or movies. 
The conversation now revolves around their child. 
As parents of a kid with special needs they are no different. 
Parenting Zeus is sometimes lonely and exhausting. 
Yeah they know all parents are tired but there is a difference between physical stress and emotional exhaustion.... in some ways that may make it a bit harder because Jordan and Valarie know all the things Zeus and they are missing out on.
They have compromised a lot more than just physical rest....
A disability often taxes a family emotionally.
Typically developing kids grow up, learn to do things for themselves and become independent learn earn settle down and eventually leave home.....
Think about it.
Jordan and Valarie might never see Zeus do that....
Really....
They hope for the best but prepare for the worst in short term as well as long term plans....
They have to know where all the exits are, carry a bag of emergency supplies, and have a plan B in place at all times.
They have very flexible plans for Zeus’s future as an adult since Zeus might never “grow up."
Raising Zeus is expensive, he requires therapies, doctors, medications and schools that typically developing children do not. 
One of the things they hear a lot are, “You get help with all of that right?” to which they laugh....
"Just who is supposed to be helping us? The federal government? The state? The insurance company? Who? We mortgage our homes. We take out loans. We work extra jobs. We do without things. We use our savings and our retirement accounts."says Jordan.....
Just that they are not in debt until now...
Jordan and Valarie feel hurt when Zeus hurts himself...
Sometimes Zeus has to do really hard things, academically, physically, or mentally and they have to watch, hands tied, while they struggle.
Sometimes they see their child's pain, anxieties, and fears incapacitating and there is nothing they can do to relieve them.
When Jordan watches Zeus wringing his hands,because he is fearful of what lies ahead, he becomes physically ill himself.
As parents of an Autistic child they need encouragement, not pity. 
They are proud of their Boy, they celebrate smaller milestones than parents of other normal kids but this makes them no less precious than others...
Because parent-child love is universally profound, well, generally almost always whether the kid is normal or special, each baby is special for its parents....
Valarie assertively feels that there is nothing to feel sorry about or ashamed for just because she gave birth to a "not so normal child" and an encouraging word means so much to her, probably more than what we will ever know.
As Zeus's parents, they have heard a lot of clichés. 
“Everything happens for a reason”
and 
“God only gives special kids to special people” 
They hate clichés, they'd rather hear, “I prayed for you today” or “Your kid is sure making great progress.” 
Sometimes, once in a while, Valarie feels guilty, What if I had not taken that cough syrup or used all of those cleaning products while I was pregnant? 
What if we had started the early intervention sooner?
What if we had tried harder and done more therapies?
But then Jordan comforts her....
Jordan has been defensive at times....and there are reasons for it....
They have had a few really bad past experiences with Zeus's peers, other parents, and teachers,they have learned from past incidents that not all children or adults are kind.
Also, they know people are watching them and Zeus and they are different and they know it.
Both of them are very approachable, they WANT to spread awareness about their child’s disability. 
Ask them questions and they will answer them. 
They would much rather explain the how and why than have us guessing and misunderstanding. 
They want to send out a message loud and clear, "Don’t stare but come over and ask us what you want to know...we love to talk about our kid just like you do and we don’t bite." 
All said and done, being Zeus's parents is rewarding, more so than anything they've ever done. 
The small things are often huge in their worlds and say“He has taught me more than I could have possibly taught him.” 
We are not sure anyone could understand without walking in the shoes they walk in.
It’s life lessons that they learn, compassion, patience, joy, and empathy on a level that no one could have ever described...
Its their story, its their life...
However, it almost feels as if we are as much a part of their's as they are, a part of us, after knowing their tale...
May this team do really well in whatever life serves them with,,,,
‪#‎notsotinytales‬ 
- Prajakta Sathe

Tale 98

Shalvi's cousins took her to this overnight trek at Harishchandragad where Rachit had joined in...
He was the best friend of Shalvi's second cousin...
And so they met....
Both were interns then....
They liked each other instantaneously and many more treks followed...
Friendship blossomed into love and they got married as soon as thawere settled in their respective fields...
Shalvi was an commercial artist freelancing and self employed....
She worked for architects and interior designers in providing made to order paintings for decor...
It was the work that she loved and got paid well for what she did....
She was happy...
Rachit a hotel management professional working for a five star hotel in the city...
He kept getting transfered within the country after every few years for exposure improvement and appraisal benefits....
They were at Chennai for 2 years, Delhi for 3 years, Jaipur for a year and a half....
After almost 7 years of marriage they weren't able to conceive naturally...
After tests, every thing seemed to be alright with the both of them....
They had visited doctors before who told them to wait for a while for natural conception...
But their patience started fading off...
Then they tried vitro fertility treatment...
After 6 failed IVF's they finally gave up on the idea of doing it any more....
This was frustrating for both.
On one hand their profession was giving them tremendous success and material gains but on the other hand they failed to understand the tryst of destiny to keep them away from the pleasure of parenting....
Both of them somehow did not want to adopt a child....
As much as they were coaxed by friends relatives and well wishers to go in for Adoption, they strongly adhered to their opinion....
Biological child or no child was their say....
With this discord in professional and personal lives they started fighting a lot....
This was a challenging phase in their lives....
Their arguments rooted from simplest things in day to day life....
One day one of these fights got ugly abusive and violent....
At the end both of them paused...looked at each other and started crying....
Rachit and Shalvi for the first time ever let out their emotions through tears....
It was all the pressure the aspiration of parenting and the crushed dreams that ran down their cheeks in the form of tears....
They apologized to each other and decided to do something about it...
They took a break from living together....
By then it had been almost 9 and half years of marriage....
Shalvi went to her parents house and worked from there for a few months...
There she came across an organisation that taught Healing through Reiki and Kriya yoga...
She finally met her Guru, an enlightened master from an Authentic lineage who guided her to find her way through the confusion of why me? And why not?
She transformed...
From a frustrated desire laden women to a human with acceptance and a mission to find the purpose in her life....
She understood that there was a reason why she wasn't given the responsibility of mothering a child....
Her blueprint must contain different plans from her....
She also understood that if doors were to open, they would easily open long back with respect to having a child....
She accepted and decided that by no means she was going to do anything against nature for getting pregnant and maybe that's how life was going to be....
Here Rachit visited an old age home on a weekend as a company to his best friend who wanted to donate something to them for his own birthday....
He saw that even at their age they were trying to be happy....
Most of them had kids....
Not all were thrown our of their houses...
Many of them rather almost all of them were happy in the company of each other at their second innings home....
This gave Rachit a fresh perspective....
He opened up his mind towards adoption and thought through it, read up on all the formalities and procedures of legal adoption as well....
When Shalvi and Rachit finally met after their relationship sabbatical, both had turned a new leaf...
While Shalvi had accepted that there was more to life than just giving birth to a baby.....
Rachit was open to adopt a kid if Shalvi wanted...
They talked through it on their reunion honeymoon at Coorg....
The kids in orphanages that did not get adopted are the ones that suffer the most when it comes to taking further education, going well pass a degree, getting a job and settling down financially....
They decided to take care of kids from one such orphanage till they settled financially or provide for their higher education if need be....
Happy with their decision they came back to their new home in Goa where Rachit was posted....
Shalvi loved Goa and found a lot of inspiration to paint in the relaxed sea vibe....
Life denied them a biological child...
However it was up to them whether they wanted to deny themselves of happiness...
Thankfully they became aware and chose to keep happy by giving....

‪#‎notsotinytales‬

- Prajakta Sathe

Tale 97

Chaitanya was born to his parents after 15 years of marriage...
His dad Sitaram was a man with little interest in married life and was okay with if he could never father a child,
However his mother Annapurna was a complete family oriented lady....
She wanted kids and was totally connected with her extended family from both maiden home as well as in law's...
Annapurna's joy knew no bounds when Chaitanya came in this world....
Her existence revolved around him....
While Sitaram kept busy with his work and showed least interest in any domestic matters she made sure she gave the best for her child....
They were from a lower middle class background with Annapurna working as a clerk in govt.sector
Sitaram worked for a textile company which shut down when Chaitanya was appearing for his 10 th board exams....
With this instance Sitaram went into depression....
All efforts along with Unconditional love and support from all family members and gentle coaxing to re-join another office or to search for another job proved futile....
Sitaram remained homebound, frustrated angry and feeling guilty....
Chaitanya was a bright kid....
However for to the over protective nature of his mother he appeared pansy in front of everyone....
Chaitanya was bullied in school as well as at family functions for being too girlie or teased that he should go play with dolls...
With the lack of awareness in child psychology none of his parents looked into the matter and thought that it was something which was to be ignored....
In the mean while Chaitanya joined a decent college after scoring well in board exams....
Sitaram in the meanwhile suffered a stroke and was bedridden....
Annapurna juggled between managing home, an ailing husband and a teenage son....
These were tough years....
For Annapurna, earning her monthly salary, taking care of her husband and providing for her only son was the only aim at that point of time....
Chaitanya on other hand suffered a major identity crisis syndrome....
On one hand he was doing well in studies, making friends, talking a lot and having fun in college....
However on the other hand he had major confusion going on in his mind about his own sexuality and orientation towards any particular gender.....
At an age where he saw boyfriends girlfriends dating Affairs etc....he was majorly unclear about what he should like....
He adored both men and women as pals and humans....
However he couldn't prefer to be with either of them in any other way....
He couldn't confide about this to anyone neither could he visit a psychologist on his own....
Going to a shrink was considered a taboo in his time....
Plus the home pressure of his father's ailment and mother's struggle was right in front of him...
He preferred to keep mum and ho ahead in life however confused he was....
He never had a romantic relationship in all those years...
He studied way past his masters degree and with flying colors....
He also secured a well paying job ad soon as he passed out....
Within a year Annapurna retired and another year Sitaram passed away....
Annapurna started pushing him for getting married and settling down....
She was worried about his future....
However it was getting increasingly difficult for him to explain his problem to her...
For her sake he did meet a few prospective proposals bit rejected everyone....
One evening he told Annapurna that he had decided to stay single for life
He also told her that he might just quit his job soon and take a sabbatical to visit and stay Himachal for a few months
Annapurna, being the simple lady that she was failed to fathom all of this...her questions continued....
Chaitanya however had a strong calling to be amidst the Himalayas and being in silence for a long long time....
Until then he had read up almost all books on spirituality and was thirsty for funding his purpose in life....
Since he was going to be single and had already purchased a home in his name while he was at his job, he was least bothered about security and managing his life...
His mother had her pension going and was self sufficient...
One fine day he left to follow his inner dream...
He wrote to Annapurna that he was leaving for CharDham yatra and maybe won't come back if he likes it there....
Annapurna was both shocked and numb at his letter....
She was attached to him...
She had expectations from him...
And it was natural for her to feel the way she felt...
Attachments and expectations may be just a few of the attributes that contributed in adding to her grief...
Now she had nothing to look forward to...
With a life full of struggle and efforts to fulfil her dreams of a full house with family, at the end she was left with no one but herself....
While Chaitanya literally drifted off the crowd craving for peace solitude and quiet at a place devoid of human interaction....
One man's tonic could be other person's poison...
By choice and by chance are two situations that became game changers in this story....
Both are now by themselves....
Annapurna lonely and unhappy
Chaitanya in solitude and unsad
However both of them in their heart of hearts want and wish to be happy for each other....

‪#‎notsotinytales‬

- Prajakta Sathe

Tale 96

Laboni was born in a happy family of four...
Her younger sister Ritika and she were beloved daughters of working parents...
Their father was a Master in linguistics who taught literature in a prestigious college in the city....
Later he gave up teaching to start writing full time and became a celebrated marathi poet who received many awards and accolades for his work.... 
It was a daring decision that he took when his daughters were young...
He could take this risk only because of the firm support of his wife who practiced as a general physician at her clinic right across the place where they lived....
They grew up in a healthy environment...
They saw their father at home always engrossed in books and busy writing...
They saw their mother happily juggle her time between morning evening clinic visits and her time at home....
Both Laboni and Ritika were good at studies and loved other activities as well....
They attended gymnastics at a nearby ground in the evenings and played badminton with each other on weekends....
With an age gap of just a year and a half between them, they were a fab team to enjoy by themselves, keep busy and have fun....
They finished college...
Laboni joined an advt.agency as their content writer while Ritika joined an NGO that worked for underprivileged kids....
Both of them never really had the pressure to earn, however they were encouraged and privileged to work in the field of their liking and expertise...
Suddenly one day, disaster struck...
With no explanations given, no letter written, no hint given their father went missing....
Police Complaint, extensive search everything happened.... 
Nothing could trace his whereabouts....
Laboni Ritika and their mom were suddenly left with an unexplained void...
They had so many questions that were unanswered as to why would the man do such a thing.... 
Was he kidnapped, was he living, was he frustrated, was he suffering from any issue that hadn't surfaced???
He had done professionally well, he had a beautiful equation with both his daughters as well his wife....
They had to get ahead and move on...
Him being a celebrated poet made things even worst since there were not even friends and family to answer but also his fans....
They slowly put past the episode behind them and moved on....
But life was never the same.... Their mother developed trust related issues... She found it difficult to cope with the loss....
Clinic home, home clinic became her life....
She became aloof and disconnected with the everyone....
Ritika got married to her co-social worker at the NGO and got settled in life....
They decided to consciously stay without a biological child in order to lead s life for social cause....
Ritika was happy in her marriage, 
Their materialistic needs were kept to a bare minimum while their philanthropic aspirations were prioritised....
They lead a life which they had exactly planned....
Laboni happened to fall in love with a man who was already married and with a family...
He was a friend of a friend...
He too fell in love with her....
They carried on with their relationship for many years....
He could neither divorce his wife nor stay separated ...
Hence he could neither marry Laboni nor could he live in with her....
There was a discord in his family life due to his affair with Laboni...
Laboni was also frustrated in the relationship which couldn't culminate into a companionship for life....
After almost a decade of connection, Laboni and him then amicably parted ways, coming to terms with the fact that they couldn't practically be together in this lifetime....
Laboni left her job and now works as a freelance content writer from home...
She doesn't know if she ll marry or fall in love yet again....
She doesn't rush to reach any conclusion....
She has decided to take life one day at a time and live on the term of acceptance to situations....
She wants to slow down absorb assimilate process and reflect all that is happening to her and around her....
She has discovered an interest in spirituality...
She is neither sad nor happy and she likes her current state....
She lends good emotional support to her mother and lives with her more as a friend than a daughter....
With certain incidences in lives, we realise that our roles keep changing....
What surprises us even more so, is that our equation with Self always keeps altering and adapting itself as we move ahead....
Three women from one family thus lead lives radically different from what they thought they would be after the occurrence of one life altering common incident in their life....
People come people go...
Tales keep happening....
Some give us hope, some inspire us, some surprise us, some leave us numb, some tales just happen....
This might just be one of them...
‪#‎notsotinytales‬ 
- Prajakta Sathe