It was 1960's
Vidya was born in an era where awareness or detection of learning disorders or cognitive disabilities was negligible....
She struggled with studies, all of it...
She was bad with numbers and no good in languages either...
History geography sounded Greek and Latin to her....
Vidya totally unlike her name was almost labeled as a duffer in class...
She had an elder sister who was assertive smart better looking and above average in studies....
This comparison naturally triggered an inferiority complex in her....
Unfortunately Vidya had acceptance issues at her body image as well...
In her adolescent years she would fear to look at the mirror reflecting an acne covered face and her frizzy super curly hair that spread like a bird's nest above her head....
She failed her SSC boards not once but 5 times...
It took her close to three years to clear off her subjects...
This meant stern remarks from the social circle and stamp of being a repeater or a failure in academics...
By the time she cleared her boards she was 18....
Her parents struggled to find her a good course that she could learn...
They enrolled her in tailoring classes where they thought she could learn skills that could later support her financially....
She completed the coursework somehow...
She was 20 by then....with no job...
It was a time where marriage at 20 was not a surprise and being a house wife was a way of life for many girls...
Prospective grooms were sought for...
Right from restaurant owners to Temple priests....
But none would give an affirmative response due to her appearance....
The choice was limited given the limitation of looks education and job...
Vidya's parents opted for Sanjeev a well settled technician for her...
Post marriage she had wonderful co-operation from Sanjeev on all fronts...
He knew that she struggled to keep up with a few things and he helped her by actively taking part in the domestic work that she strived to perfect on and failed due to her limited skill set....
He made sure he gave her confidence and support in all aspects increasing her confidence handling the household with her capacity...
Sanjeev's mother was weird and behaved strangely with everyone around...
It was indeed a time where the probability of Amnesia or Alzheimer detection was out of question...
She was labelled as getting increasingly crazy and having lost her senses....
Sanjeev was sensitive to the fact that his mother was labelled as mad by the society and strived to strike a balance between maintaining a harmonious equation between his newly married wife and deteriorating mother....
His father on the other hand was a retired science teacher who suffered with hearing loss due to age and had diminishing eyesight due to diabetes....
Amidst the medical chaos that went on in the family Vidya discovered her pregnancy....
It was a confused revelation to her yet something she knew she had to handle well and with care....
Having advised to bed rest Vidya came back to her maternal house till she delivered a premature baby girl in the 7 th month of pregnancy....
The baby was raised well till its 6 th months by her parents in Vidya's maiden home...
Sanjeev had to take Vidya and the baby back to their house....
By that time Sanjeev's mother had completely deteriorated in terms of senses....
His father had lost his eyesight and Sanjeev's sister has returned from her failed marriage back to their house for good....
Vidya now had the challenge of handling a new life that her Daughter was, a physically handicap father in law who couldn't see or hear, a mentally challenged mother in law who was sinking every single day and a depressed and grieving sister in law who had returned to seek support and solace in her maiden home...
With her kind of understanding Vidya, kept juggling and multitasking on the home front with genuine support of Sanjeev...
Her Sister in law found a small job as a receptionist/operator at a coaching class in which her father had taught earlier...
Her mother in law passed away the next another year....
She then brought up her daughter along with the firm collaborative efforts Sanjeev...
Her sister in law is on therapy for crinic depression while her father in law leads a vegetative life with no hearing or vision...
But Vidya has brought up her daughter with courage...
Sanchie her daughter is a clinical psychologist practicing at a reputed hospital in the city...
She is now at a marriageable age, a voracious reader and a wonderful orator...
She understands her mother's psyche and completely gets it when people tell her that her grandmother was mad....
She applies a holistic as well as a scientific approach to treat her aunt who had struggled with chronic depression for all these years....
She empathises with her grandfather who is practically blind and deaf....
Her favorite however is Sanjeev her father...
Teacnically a technician but a man with patience compassion and deep understanding of challenge that the human life can be...
Of his struggle to help making this journey tolerable and sustainable for Vidya her brave mom....
Saanchie is a live example of how one cannot judge a book by it's cover....
Dysfunctional humans essentially do not result in dysfunctional relations neither do they create dysfunctional families nor do they lead to dysfunctional offsprings....
It's not always a matter of choice
It's sometimes not even a matter of chance...
It's how we see ordinary people tell extraordinary stories that we can learn from...
Vidya was born in an era where awareness or detection of learning disorders or cognitive disabilities was negligible....
She struggled with studies, all of it...
She was bad with numbers and no good in languages either...
History geography sounded Greek and Latin to her....
Vidya totally unlike her name was almost labeled as a duffer in class...
She had an elder sister who was assertive smart better looking and above average in studies....
This comparison naturally triggered an inferiority complex in her....
Unfortunately Vidya had acceptance issues at her body image as well...
In her adolescent years she would fear to look at the mirror reflecting an acne covered face and her frizzy super curly hair that spread like a bird's nest above her head....
She failed her SSC boards not once but 5 times...
It took her close to three years to clear off her subjects...
This meant stern remarks from the social circle and stamp of being a repeater or a failure in academics...
By the time she cleared her boards she was 18....
Her parents struggled to find her a good course that she could learn...
They enrolled her in tailoring classes where they thought she could learn skills that could later support her financially....
She completed the coursework somehow...
She was 20 by then....with no job...
It was a time where marriage at 20 was not a surprise and being a house wife was a way of life for many girls...
Prospective grooms were sought for...
Right from restaurant owners to Temple priests....
But none would give an affirmative response due to her appearance....
The choice was limited given the limitation of looks education and job...
Vidya's parents opted for Sanjeev a well settled technician for her...
Post marriage she had wonderful co-operation from Sanjeev on all fronts...
He knew that she struggled to keep up with a few things and he helped her by actively taking part in the domestic work that she strived to perfect on and failed due to her limited skill set....
He made sure he gave her confidence and support in all aspects increasing her confidence handling the household with her capacity...
Sanjeev's mother was weird and behaved strangely with everyone around...
It was indeed a time where the probability of Amnesia or Alzheimer detection was out of question...
She was labelled as getting increasingly crazy and having lost her senses....
Sanjeev was sensitive to the fact that his mother was labelled as mad by the society and strived to strike a balance between maintaining a harmonious equation between his newly married wife and deteriorating mother....
His father on the other hand was a retired science teacher who suffered with hearing loss due to age and had diminishing eyesight due to diabetes....
Amidst the medical chaos that went on in the family Vidya discovered her pregnancy....
It was a confused revelation to her yet something she knew she had to handle well and with care....
Having advised to bed rest Vidya came back to her maternal house till she delivered a premature baby girl in the 7 th month of pregnancy....
The baby was raised well till its 6 th months by her parents in Vidya's maiden home...
Sanjeev had to take Vidya and the baby back to their house....
By that time Sanjeev's mother had completely deteriorated in terms of senses....
His father had lost his eyesight and Sanjeev's sister has returned from her failed marriage back to their house for good....
Vidya now had the challenge of handling a new life that her Daughter was, a physically handicap father in law who couldn't see or hear, a mentally challenged mother in law who was sinking every single day and a depressed and grieving sister in law who had returned to seek support and solace in her maiden home...
With her kind of understanding Vidya, kept juggling and multitasking on the home front with genuine support of Sanjeev...
Her Sister in law found a small job as a receptionist/operator at a coaching class in which her father had taught earlier...
Her mother in law passed away the next another year....
She then brought up her daughter along with the firm collaborative efforts Sanjeev...
Her sister in law is on therapy for crinic depression while her father in law leads a vegetative life with no hearing or vision...
But Vidya has brought up her daughter with courage...
Sanchie her daughter is a clinical psychologist practicing at a reputed hospital in the city...
She is now at a marriageable age, a voracious reader and a wonderful orator...
She understands her mother's psyche and completely gets it when people tell her that her grandmother was mad....
She applies a holistic as well as a scientific approach to treat her aunt who had struggled with chronic depression for all these years....
She empathises with her grandfather who is practically blind and deaf....
Her favorite however is Sanjeev her father...
Teacnically a technician but a man with patience compassion and deep understanding of challenge that the human life can be...
Of his struggle to help making this journey tolerable and sustainable for Vidya her brave mom....
Saanchie is a live example of how one cannot judge a book by it's cover....
Dysfunctional humans essentially do not result in dysfunctional relations neither do they create dysfunctional families nor do they lead to dysfunctional offsprings....
It's not always a matter of choice
It's sometimes not even a matter of chance...
It's how we see ordinary people tell extraordinary stories that we can learn from...
- Prajakta Sathe
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