Arrrrrgh.....

It was not the best ever kind of a day in the morning. 

I was all sleepy and dreary... Had my doubts about going all the way and pushing myself giving my best during the daily workout. 

Nevertheless dragged myself to the gym and my trainer comes up with a surprise! We ll again do legs today. 

I am like - Really???? 

But Trainer's wish is my command! 

Started working out...

As the Sets passed I started feeling better 

As the reps increases I was happier 

As the plates increased I was more excited!!!

This continued till I listened to every bit that he asked me to do and both of us were pleasantly surprised since I had surpassed the threshold we had expected for the day... 

As I stretched myself after most exhilarating hour and a half, I got calmer and more confident and felt 10 times more energetic than when I started. 

The post workout mood high stays at peak for many hours and lends a glow which is difficult to miss
Cheers to all those who hate the leg day @gym but go for it nevertheless... Those 90 mins of torture lead to hours of blissful sweet pain through the rest of the weekend. Soreness is a constant reminder of what you were capable of and what is yet to be achieved... Week after week as the reps, the plates on the bar and/or the Sets increase... We get stronger , better than we used to be... But the crux lies in the NOW... Actions will lead to results not plans...
Adrenaline pumping...
Endorphins gushed...
Red in face...
Walking with an ouch...
Workouts Rock!!!
A better world is waiting on the other side...


 :)

Like

Love

Haha

Go push and pull and lift and move and bend and stretch and box and kic

Unusual random...

Its not an unusual story... 

A REAL LIFE EXAMPLE that happened around me...

They are a nuclear family of three.

Husband in an MNC , wife self employed and a preschool Daughter.

Husband spends long hours at work (read more than 12) every single day and even logs in over the weekend.

He says he has a high pressure job.

He says that he needs to maintain their standard of living

In the hope of getting a better appraisal and an increment he finds himself on his officially online mark 24X7

He leaves home at 9 am and returns anytime after 10 pm

It could be a 13 , 14 , 15, 16... work hours in a day....

He says he doesn't find to even have his meals on time.

He eats his breakfast at lunch hour (stays hungry till then)

Skips lunch and has a direct late night dinner sitting on home couch in front of the Television and directly goes to bed without any movement post dinner.

Physical activity ZERO... 

Spends weekends LYING ON THE BED with Laptop in front for most part of the day getting up just to eat and to catch up with sleep in the noon. 

He spends some time reading out to his daughter or teaching her how to skip or play basketball (read 1 hour)

He has NO REAL FRIENDS, NO HOBBIES, NO SOCIAL LIFE.

He loves sports, news and movies.

He takes out his wife n daughter out for a meal or a movie once in a while. 

He never looks in the eye when he talks with his wife.

He is surfing net , watching short films or shopping online for the most part of the weekend when he has logged in for work on one hand and appears occupied.

He aspires to have a fleeting career and can put in whatever is needed...

His wife has accepted this as a way of life, of him being unavailable... 

She loves her work and taking care of their daughter and looking after the house...

She has many friends (for real) She socializes well.

She keeps busy updating herself in her work field

She keeps fit eats clean and makes sure her daughter does the same too

Just that the daughter misses her dad much

She has bouts of crying for reasons which are far deeper than anxiety

She yearns for her dad

No matter how well she tries, her mother can naturally not fill the gap of a father...

This was is personal struggle for both the mom and her daughter to try and fill their voids...

The daughter never sees her dad in the week since her dad always comes from office after she sleeps and she leaves for school before he wakes up...

There is NO COMMUNICATION, NO SHARING, NO INTERACTION, NO COMPANY ...

Kids need to see happy dynamics between their parents to grow up as healthy adults.

She can see none of that...

His late nights disrupt sleep cycles of his wife and daughter.

With a heavy heart but an assertive tone the wife took a decision to keep food ready in the kitchen and bed ready in the other bedroom for the Husband. 

For the sake of better working health schedules of at least two family members, this was good decision.

This lead to a leeway to the husband to come as late as he wanted and then watch TV or surf till wee hours and sleep whenever he fancied...

He never felt there is a problem...

for him it is all good...

Intimacy ZERO... (bothers the couple)

What is work life balance???

He will grow well, earn well, get ahead and achieve everything...

All three of them will enjoy comforts and luxuries.... yes...

But at what cost???

time flies and their little girl will be all grown up...

In her teens with her friend circle and will have her own world

she ll study go abroad may be , date , live in or marry....

And He ll only remember her image.... SLEEPING...

No he is not a vilian 

No she is not a hero

No their daughter isn't a victim

But they better fix it RIGHT NOW in some way...

God help the couple and their princess!

Realization, awareness, action...

Welcome to the real feel world...

Where is the Health?

Where is the awareness ?

Where is the sensitivity?

Where is the family?

Where is the marriage?

Where is the individual?

Samay...

It's high time we start speaking in a language in which we are better at w.r.t. communicating our thoughts. It's sad how people deliberately use English in spite of having great command over colloquial languages.

Use of words , phrases, abbreviations and short forms without awareness may create misunderstandings both professionally and personally.

I have cringed at the thought of continuing with a conversation which starts with inappropriately addressing an individual.

Such chats which usually start on an awkward note and can neither head towards a decent exchange of information nor lead the people involved anywhere...

Unfriend

Untag

Block

Am I just alone or are there more people who feel OUT OF PLACE , ALIENATED and unable to Read into what the person is trying to convey... 

Bhai Saab , Sir, Janab, Mahashay, Mahoday..... 

Bhavnaonko kaise, kaha, kis tarah se aur kyun samjhe???

Fact File

A student recently joined the Kathak batch a month back. I get a panic call from her saying that we have been doing basic stuff for too long and she is worried as to how she'll cope up with the syllabus and exams.

(Remember she has joined just month ago) She had earlier asked me to allow her to video shoot in class which I denied to. I gave her a solution - Why don't u go home and ask someone to record what you have learnt in class right away... This way u have a fresh replay, plus backup in case you forget, for the sake of recording u will revise as soon as u reach home. This will help you if want to go back to confirm anything while you practice...

Now, this student never practices. First few seconds of any student's gait, stance and footwork tell us if the student has done their homework and Riyaz.

JUST PLANNING FOR WORKOUTS WILL NEVER MAKE YOU FIT AND STRONG. 

JUST HAVING MEAL PLANS ON PAPER WILL NEVER MAKE YOU EAT RIGHT AND CLEAN.

NO MATTER HOW MANY RECORDINGS YOU TAKE, IF YOU DON'T TIE YOUR GUNGROOS AND PRACTICE EVERYDAY ,YOU AIN'T GOING ANYWHERE....

I remember at the annual Kathak Symposium this year where we had discussed about how our GURUS spent months teaching us just 'Ta Thai Thai Tat' The very first step of learning anything new is TRUST , on yourself and your teacher. 

If learning for exams is a motive, one may never dream of becoming a performer. 

Having said that I have faith in grading system and support the evaluation process of university. I am an examiner and a paper setter myself. 

But how will this mindset create future artists? 

Yes Skype Lessons are popular and may find a decent following. 

But what happens in a class , with the group dynamics and riyaz in front of the teacher can never be replaced...

One can't be learning an art form and remain oblivious and uneducated and unaware of other mediums of expression. 

I always encourage my students to go visit art galleries, painting ,sculpture , ceramics, handloom, handicraft exhibitions, I ask them to hear world music, I encourage them to watch international films, attend music concerts , ballets, festivals, I tell them to go travel , read, meet and talk to people , play with colors, learn pottery , photography in their free time, reconnect with nature... Get inspired... Sing, write....

One has to be exposed to a plethora of experiences to evolve as an artist.

Art forms, in fact nothing in life is a quick fix unless you be at it consistently , diligently , sincerely and regularly. 

Gym change, dietitian change , trainer change, class hopping, school change nothing will help unless ONE DECIDES TO CHANGE FROM WITHIN.

Discipline, mind over matter, patience, faith, experience - everything counts... 

Art is a way of life :)

Filling...

Mid-days have some magic in them 
The breeze gets a hint of musk...
As if we are celebrating the sweet accidentally communion of earth and water...
What we understand as a coincidence may be a divine synchronization...
The moment of creation becomes inspirational...
The vibrations are relaxed but fresh , calm and accepting...
Such is the prelude to something even better and enticing...
The evening... Waiting to hold the coy noon in his arms... To gently merge into a magnificent night...
Finding love and air in the random...
Making spaces to breathe is a way to get away from the mundane exasperation...
Such my dear is life...
Prajakta Sathe.

Health woes...

With a swollen thumb due to an injury followed by an infection I had to call off my Saturday workout. Antibiotics worked as my thumb began to heal... I can't tell you how bad I felt when I knew my mind was ready but my hand wasn't... Sedated and in pain I took the weekend off. Instead attended a workshop on Sunday and took it slow... 

I would be lying if I said I didn't have my doubts about performance today, still in pain but subsided swelling I entered the gym. My trainer gave me a reassuring smile... I trusted him, he knew about my hand. He said let's give it a try and see. We tried... And with God's grace the try succeeded into a fabulous workout. Form regained and a few more variations added.

The purpose of writing about the journey is not to flaunt or boast...

Most of us care about ourselves and devote time for fitness, for those who don't - let this be a that bit of push to give it a shot...

Workout because you love yourself, you deserve it.

Day next...

Was down with stomach infection and high temperature and had to take a break from Thursday till yesterday... 

So practically spent Diwali in bed resting and healing...

Post diwali and post illness gym reunion happened... 

What a pleasure it was...

I can't tell you how fresh rejuvenated calm and happy I feel... 

Again hats off to my Trainer who doesn't leave a single stone unturned to push me till the best threshold...

It takes time to get back to form even if one has to skip working out for 3-4 days. 

The sickness takes a toll on the muscles...

But it gets back to where it was within a week or so...

Of course only when paired with clean eating and adequate sleep. 

Today we did two muscle groups instead of the usual one...

We checked out our limit on full plate weight seated row in the final set and could reach 10 reps which is a huge personal milestone. 

Happy is the vibe... Eagerly waiting for tomorrow...

To keep challenging myself, getting better, fitter and happier by the day...

To those who haven't had a flavor of this magic potion of workouts, please gift yourself a personal trainer and a gym membership this year and thank yourself a few months from now... 

You owe it to yourselves... 

Love !

Yes, it is festive around , there are lights and merriment and shopping and food and feel good...

And then there is this huge overload of internet and WhatsApp wishes... 

256 WhatsApp wishes per hour and around 4 FB ping wishes per min...whoa... Where are we??? 

The shopping frenzy is alright to handle the sarcastic posts are okay... 

About giving back and not bursting crackers about intolerance about patriotism about gender sensitivity etc......

Easier said than done... I am not even mentioning the name of this festival yet since it's like almost over riding our senses... 

Why not have light in our thoughts and be on ground and take it easy and be normal. 

Every single person around is on some different trip somewhere high...

Be with family friends eat sleep travel smile and have memories... 

Love the festival but the hype ain't going well with me...

Well, it appears amusing from here though...

 Prajakta Sathe

Gym pori GYM!!!

They say kill it or get killed is the only way to go (well sometimes)

Not all days are the same, some are rewarding while others are not 

Working with progressive overload has lead to a sense of manifold revelations

A) My body won't give similar results every single day

B) Many a times the progress lies less in the muscles and more in the mind... If my mind is ready my body will follow 

C) Not every workout will lead to an upward stint...

Some are bound to go down ward some will remain at the same level that they were the previous week and most of them will be a step ahead. It is alright to expect the best of every day however it's foolish to get marred by a not so good day. 

D) In spite of clean eating and adequate rest there will be challenging days in the gym. I cannot underestimate the stress levels the rest of the day imparts on my body. If I am stressed it will show in the performance. 

E) Relaxation , calming techniques , meditation are as much a part of fitness as the physical part is... Doing things which we love doing , being around people we vibe well with and more so accepting yourself unconditionally is the key...

F) I must learn to take both the flowers and thorns well, it's a part and parcel of growth. I have been working on both these parameters for quite sometime now. I get extremely conscious if someone wears their judgemental glasses to look at me... 

It's a wonderful world of many shades, that makes us such a brilliant bunch of humans... 

G) I can look at every co- gymmer's journey with awe and fascinating and the very fact that they made it to the gym makes them winners in their own right... Their struggles , their body , their journey will be so unique and I have renewed respect for every soul around...

P.S. It was leg day and I was down by one plate in all exercises than I did the last time. 

My trainer said it's okay and that I m doing just fine. I felt ashamed and frustrated and he saw it in my eyes... He let me feel all that I was feeling and told me , you are on the right journey and it's showing. 

There is this feeling of utmost satisfaction that I have given my best today (though it wasn't at par with last time's performance) I am sore and tired as hell...

But I am neither happy , nor sad... 

It's a good place to be.

Prajakta Sathe

Intrigued and Amused

As a Kathak teacher , I have come across several hundreds of students through the years into training... 

As much as I'd like to believe that much of the teacher's personality gets reflected through his/her students, there is a method to this process...

It starts off with the exchange of two extremely important attributes - Acceptance and Surrender.

As years pass the student and the teacher duo come to know about each other both intricately and intimately. It is natural to start seeing each other's strengths and weaknesses as co - humans.

Keeping the respectful line between 'being friendly' and 'becoming friends' is crucial since if the line is crossed the assessment of the student may become challenging and the student may feel offended for any evaluation by the teacher if they become FRIENDS.

I speak from neither side since I have been in both the roles and for long enough to appreciate and value the amazing dynamics that a teacher and a student can share...

I haven't been a big fan of rituals in personal or professional life but a huge practitioner of Discipline. 

Simple things like how one touches teacher's feet give a flash on what's going on within... 

There is much energy that can be exchanged as the student prostrates and bows down before the teacher...

Some students bow from a distance of about a meter, touching their foreheads on the ground... ( I wonder how their heads may feel with the cold non living sensation at that distance)

Some students touch knees (really...)

A few students do the traditional Mahashtrian 'namaskaar karte haaa' with a pranam that shakes in an ancient style,

Some students come and bend and Almighty knows how but manage to slip away before one can understand who was it ,

Some run towards your feet with a 'let's finish this'

A few others jump at your feet and it feels either super ticklish or painful as they bang their head or brush their fingers over your feet...

And of course there are many many who patiently wait for their turn to come or till when the teacher has a breather to truly ENJOY this act of precious togetherness....

Their hands on the sides of the feet and forehead on the foot (they sit in vajrasana), they pause , absorb , feel and let it flow.

This prostration lasts for about a couple of seconds maybe, but gives divine joy to the (Guru and Disciple - in spiritual connect) and teacher and student relation as well.

A the journey from a follower to a devotee to a disciple takes time, once this happens there is a transcendental connect. 

When a Disciple comes into the Energetic field or Aura of his/her Guru, thoughts , frequencies and vibrations are interchanged... There is so much of give and take that happens at that moment which is undescribable and is known only and exclusively within the Duo...

Many spiritual Guru's do not allow any lay man to touch their feet since their own sadhana Shakti flows and may dissipate through their feet...

I have been blessed with best of both the worlds...

I am no Guru, but a teacher to my students and I still say that since the word Guru conveys a very high meaning in my term...

I feel enriched since absolutely loving students have touched my feet with such love and respect that I have been in a blissful Bond with them forever...

Having said that I have been blessed in life and consider my highest blessing that I have found my only Guru - my God , Guruji Naushir. And I have been filled with out of this world blissful healing divine light energy every single time I have surrendered on his lotus feet.

As a mother , I make Kanha observe me as I bow down before elders , Teachers, ( Idols of Gods out of habit since I was trained to bow in a traditional upbringing), in front of nature and my Guru not because of customs but because I genuinely want to. 

However I would never make him bow or prostrate as a compulsion but I want to be able to let him explore and experience what it feels like and how it feels like to do what needs to be done... 

He may chose to emulate me and may or may not learn from example but he must definitely be able to take a call as to whether to bow down , in front of whom to bow down, how to bow down - through experience. There is nothing right or wrong here... 

It's but mere a form of personal choice.

It was a productive , calm and an AMAZING Monday morning.

The vibe of the day is light and fresh. 

I am counting my blessings and making most of this fabulous start of the week. 

Are you?

Tasmay Shree Guruve Namah 

- Prajakta Sathe

Understanding the Student world

Many of us have licenses to drive but can never or may never go behind the wheel. We may not even know how to drive or may pathetically fail a real driving test or may even never attempt driving.

Having a certain Certificate or accreditation of sorts on paper , never signifies that we are good at certain things.

There have been umpteenth examples of theatre graduates who never really made it in mainstream or even for that matter experimental theatre scene.

There are so many engineers, scientists, non-graduates, worker class people who have turned into brilliant actors of their times...

There are so many examples of untrained talents who have made it big in the music world...

There are some amazing self taught painters, sculptures , chefs who have turned the scene 180 degrees for themselves with their exquisite work...

There are illiterates who have created business empires and there are also individuals with Doctorates , double Masters who have failed , given up or gone into depression...

We are a mixed bunch of humans with so many varied attributes in unique proportions in each one of us that there are no parameters to judge one human from the other.

Some make it , a few don't ,however everyone gets what is a mandatory part of living and learning I.e. experience. 

It enriches our feel world, our reactions to external triggers, our decision making skills and much more...

Having said that, I thoroughly respect the evaluation system of education and assessment patterns in the current scenario around.

The reason for an elaborate intro is that enrolling yourself in a Dance class will not make a Dancer out of you.

The parameters of turning a student into a Dancer to a performer to an artist is a long tedious and testing process.

Attendance and regularity come first when one starts learning anything new...

One cannot turn up once or twice a month for the class and then complain that one can't dance, obviously one wont be able to dance...

Lack of regularity leads to lack of understanding, lack of practice and hence repetition of every step or pattern over and over again since by the time one decides to attend the class after a week or two the previous class work has vanished from one's head

This leads to a sense of boredom and then disinterest develops...

Seldom there are students who want to learn more and more...

Yes aspiring to learn more is a good thing but only for people who are regular , sincere and hard working...

With the above three qualities even a seemingly lesser talented student can transform into a surprisingly decent dancer.

The purpose of learning dance may be different for each student , with reasons varing from :

I want my child to be busy 

I want to be a professional 

I want to lose weight 

I want to try this dance style 

I want to tag with my friend 

I want to benefit from the Cultural quota

I want dance to help me express myself better 

I want stress relief 

I love dancing

I like the teacher

I like the way she/he teaches

Etc etc....

Whatever the reason be , unless one isn't fully into it and regular and practicing everyday - let me break the not so good news , one is not going anywhere....

Do you eat tons of food in one day and then say that now I can stop eating for the next couple of weeks? 

Do you gym for many hours once a fortnight and expect to see visible changes in you? 

Why is the same simple logic not applied to other areas in life? 

Lack of Discipline is not only detrimental for progress but also a challenge to the teacher who trains you.

You may keep passing exams and have a graduate certificate in an art form but is that enough? Is that all you want? Non disciplined students who graduate will result in making of non-competent trainers and at the end of the day the art form will suffer.

Let us set our rules straight and right while training the next generation in our respective art forms.

Let us pledge to not let an unprepared student appear for exam just because of the fear that she'll leave our class. 

You work you move ahead, you act lazy you stay where you are or Leave.

One rule can direct things in a better flow.

There are so many students all over the world thinking that maybe their teacher doesn't like them or maybe is biased or partial to a few and hence not teaching us ahead or making us appear for exams.

To all those students, your teacher dreams of you becoming better than him/her , has invested time energy and efforts just to make sure you are better with each class...

The trainer will leave no stone unturned to make a diamond out of you if you show regularity and discipline in practice.

Dedicated to all my contemporaries who are into the noble profession of teaching.

The vibe of the day is introspective and calm.... 

- Prajakta Sathe

Within, beyond and Above

One thing that is commonly observed in kids and probably even many adults is that they tend to lag in with work or perform poorly if they notice that no one is looking or when they are unmonitored.

I have observed in class that some students (irrespective of age) tend to not do their Tatkaars (foot work) with force when they are asked to practice alone or execute their Hastaks (hand gestures) haphazardly when they are revising in a group.

The point here is that undisciplined practice is equal to no practice and results in poor performance. 

This is called half hearted effort.

Learning has to be such because one Wants to learn and not because one Has to learn. There is no point in standing up for repeated rounds of a newly taught piece just for the sake of it.

Even old compositions which are mastered need polishing and oiling after some days just like our good old machines.

One of my taal Masterji Bhola Prasad Singhji used to say , "Prajakta, composition ko perform karogi to woh udkar niche aayega, ye prithvi ka niyam hai. Use aisa ghiskar taiyyar karo ki wo ek baar nikla , to woh Gurutvakarshan se bahar nikal jaye aur Antaral mein ek unchai par bas chalta rahe. Revolving till eternity "

Once any art form enters and circulates in your system , it changes you from within... 

It churnes out the bad from you and makes u better in manifold ways.

You can observe performing artists and teachers of arts live their life so aesthetically 

They are dressed well, their homes are tastefully done, every act they do is laced with aesthetics. 

Observe an artist chopping veggies and fruits , they do it so uniformly and neatly.

Watch an artist maintain his or her wardrobe /car/house - impeccably clean and organized. 

I have been in awe of so many teachers of mine when they would just prepare a typical Indian tadka (tempering) with such precision that the kitchen blooms with divine aroma of food.

Simple things like how to iron press a costume, how to alter a dress, how to Fold clothes, how to pack a tour bag, how to ensure that we are presentable at all times, how to eat sleep and keep well in lifestyle - were all learned from my teachers.

I aspire to see all students who are taking up performing arts to go deep within the learning process and go beyond and above the learning to acquire inspiration for a wonderful holistic living. 

Amen to that.

All set for an eventful day... The vibe is Confident and positive :)

Tasmay Shree Guruve Namah

- Prajakta Sathe

Today is mine!

Today was indeed a very long day.
Full of domestic chores, fitness routine, parenting duties, professional responsibilities, spiritual commitment to my Guru.
The maid called in for a leave making things suddenly unspaced in the preplanned jam packed day.
Had this been a few months back, I would have lost my temper , had mood swings and would have cribbed n sulked and maybe procrastinated a few things...
This day was different.
What regular sadhana under the Divine guidance of my Guru has taught me that what is in our hands is this very moment, the NOW.
Going on the negative scale wouldn't help, instead staying on the solution mode and acting would definitely help the situation.
That's what I exactly did.
What I am learning from my Guruji through his teachings is that I never have to worry about the future.
Neither keep thinking about what's gone...
This has had such tremendous impact on my personality that I have begun to see things in completely different light. I had severe anxiety issues which rose out of fear about the future leading to stress...
I also kept dwelling in yesterday, wasting my precious today, which was absolutely unnecessary and non important.
This year on Gurupournima my Guruji gave me a unique gift. This is the greatness of my Divine Guru to gift me with a precious mantra...
He asked me to surrender my vices one by one onto his feet leading to purification and betterment in spiritual evolution.
This year I have first surrendered SLOTH onto his feet.
Now whenever I feel like procrastinating or lengthening things unnecessarily my inner voice calls out to me.
I ask myself do I own SLOTH?
NO comes the answer. I immediately go on the ACTION MODE. Getting things done and not worrying about tomorrow is getting better by the day.
This is such a fabulous change on all fronts...
Not only did it bring discipline to my daily schedule, it also made me more active placed out, relaxed and well rested.
I am still working on getting enough sleep thought, but I am sure I ll get it in place sooner.
I am amazed that at the end of the day inspite of cut to cut work slots I found the energy to wash four mega tubs of dishes and clean up the kitchen counter spiking clean, wiping the floor and keeping laundry in place.
RD Burman's music playing in the background, I actually enjoyed washing them.
Many a times impending extra chores is a blessing in disguise...
It adds to the value of people in your life, increases stamina, inculcates habits of taking responsibility of making things clean before we call it a day....
I wouldn't believe my eyes and senses the house looks squeaky clean in a matter if 3 hours.
Took a hot shower and now happily typing this post.
How does it get better than this?
Clean home, clean body, clean thoughts for NOW....
Happy is the vibe as I gently let my body sink in the bed...
Inviting and invigorating may be this sleep...
Tomorrow is a new day...
I feel lucky and blessed to have found my Guru, my God at the right time in life.
Tasmay Shree Guruve Namaha.

Revisiting Renew Refresh...

I restarted strength training after a gap of 6 months and boy, I can't tell you how much I missed it.
No other form of exercise has given me an adrenaline rush as high as lifting weights. Progressive overload, pushing that extra bit, increasing one level at a time, doing that last extra rep, that one more lap, adding that plus half kg to the bar is fabulously phenomenal. I can't thank my stars enough for bestowing me a period of coordination where in I have one helluva fantastic Personal trainer at a time where I can go and want to go visit my gym EVERY SINGLE DAY...
No, soreness isn't an excuse, lack of sleep isn't either, I never refuse anything that he tells me to do and I give my 100 percent.... I do full ranges and focus on correct form than quantity. I am working on my endurance flexibility and would like to be able to use core strength while working out...
This time I am going all natural with no synthetic processed protein.
Totally relying on plant and dairy based protein sources that are home made and fresh.
Haven't even had egg whites...
I somehow didn't feel like having them anymore...
I love the fact that all of this it gives me fab skin better concentration, peace and calmness...
I am not sure if I d ever go vegan however I am educating myself about everything and believe that I will follow something that can be sustained for a long time as a lifestyle rather than a seasonal fad.
I would now never go on just a cardio stint ever and always do this brilliant stuff for my good.
I would slowly like to introduce variations in the form of functional training , stretches and traditional yoga.
I d like to strongly vouch for strength training and personal trainer...
We are always one workout away from a great mood.
The purpose of writing about my fitness goal is that it leads to answerability to people who read it.
I have already crossed a long journey in terms of weight loss earlier...
now it will be for my own feel good factor health and fitness.
I feel super and I am loving it!
Cheers :D

Very TOUCHING...

Have we burdened our senses with such information overload that technology is keeping our sensibilities preoccupied to the level of numbness?

Being sensitive is considered a con agreed, but where has our lack of awareness gone?

We can now connect at the press of a button... things are getting as real as it virtually can get....

Right from Skype classes to facetime celebrations to E conferencing, mass broadcasts and going live on practically anything in and out of this world is the trend of the day....

What bothers me is that being technically close in this scenario has made us unavailable for each other in real world....

When was the last time we ve finished an entire coffee mug in a cafe with our loved one without looking at a screen? 

Have we enjoyed and gone through the highs and lows and emotional twirls of a movie without hurriedly checking out for any message updates....?

When have we actually checked into a new place to be with our folks and spend time with them without bothering to check in on status at FB or with tags of people we are with....?

Do we have more moments in our memory than on our memory card???

Do we try and relax recollecting fond times without relying on that hard disk storage that has to by default document every milestone?

What's the rush, why this urgency

Why this mandatory clutter n cramping of data piles???

While GB's of virtual layers cover our senses, we are turning into loners....

What do we miss the most?

Having to hear someone out by listening...

Meeting someone actually and not bothering to show it anywhere....

The magic of Pen and paper....

Letters...why are they so underrated?

Being beside each other with nothing to fidget or swap or scroll in our hands....

Sitting besides not even talking can make more sense if we try to listen to the unspoken...

Silence can be loud...

Hugs, where are the hugs gone....

No, not the buddy, colleague , best friend, pout bestie, cousin posing hug.... not at all....

The real one... where you share warmth...

Where there is an exchange of vibrations....

Where we surrender to the moment in the meet...

Where are the smiles gone....

The sighs of finally seeing someone...

Where is the hand holding gone?

Why aren't there enough kisses around???

Forehead kisses...

kisses on the cheeks, over the hands kisses, on the palms, on the shoulder, on the head and over the lips....

Kisses which show reassurance , care, gratitude, appreciation, love, value and much more... 

Do we hug and kiss our partners, children, parents , friends, loved ones and pets often....

Human touch is a blessing....

And we are bestowed with the boon of feelings... 

With age, conservative approach and social stigma the gift of touch has become either an exploited area or an unexplored aspect in our day to day living....

Many may ask, Why touch when you can tell? 

Why not touch and let it speak for itself...

By touch I am not at all entering the ,

"I m not the touchy feely types baba" zone....

Touch for expression is something so natural that many of us have ignored it  for most part of our lives....

Why not hold hands....? Isn't it a fantastic thing to do? 

Why not Sit close to your father?

why not cuddle with your grandson who has practically missed having you around for all this time?

Elder we get, we need to get gentler more open and more accepting .... ultimately reaching a state of awareness wherein we recognise the power of everything....

So next time let us make it a point to turn off the television and keep our phones away when we eat....

Let us drink our beverages without looking at screens but with full concentration towards what we want to say...

Let us watch a play or a concert without having to record it...

Let us enjoy a party without a surge of capturing it....

Let us experience nature first hand without anything electronic in our hands....

Let us meet and hug more often...

Let us kiss our loved ones appropriately and enough so that we can experience the gift of expression to its maximum...

Let us laugh loud, clap and give each other that high five...

Let us chuckle n blink like old times and gather for a group hug....

Let us breathe and be there right in the moment....

Let us snuggle and cuddle real close with our precious significants...

We will then mean the words 

'i love you' , 

'i have missed you ' 

'you are special'

'i want you to stay'

'let us do this'

'i am all yours'

'we are blessed'

'i am so excited'..... and many more...

Touch and tell...

let it be pure, let it be natural, let it be ubinhibitive, let it be non judgemental, let go of the ego....

Let there be HUGS , KISSES, CUDDLES, HOLDING HANDS, COMPANY and PRESENCE....

We would like to live the gift of life to the fullest and have no regrets....

We would like to come home to warmth and not lonely cubicals...

We are here to share and care....

We are blessed with emotions and feelings....

Let us show what we have got...

Let it be real...

Let it be in sync with nature....

Let it be love based and not fear based....

Let us bask in positivity, joy and happiness....

Let us just BE...

- Prajakta Sathe

Ripe bond...

I was a huge part of my Grandpa's life. C.A. by profession , avid reader and an atheist he was the most straightforward person one could ever meet... He had a no nonsense policy and took responsibility of every action of his. He meticulously planned every single day and worked clockwise may it be in professional or personal life... He gave me one huge gift.... a quote....
He used to call me Sonya. "Sonya, always forgive and forget" he said.... He saw me grow, blossom, rise, drown and struggle.... he always knew my highs and lows... he was the one who always believed in me.... he was someone I could have gone to as my sounding board.... but I realised this long after he was gone... my evolution into mature adulthood did not intersect on his time on this earth.
People in my family still say that I was probably the only person he loved the most in his lifetime... The only time he cried in life was when he bid me farewell and send me off as a bride on my marriage day... He had tears in his eyes when I met him last in the hospital and fed him tea with Marie biscuits that evening.... I left for another city the same night, never to see him again...
There are periods in your life where you choose to be so unaware about everything else , that this precious bond slipped off my palms like dry sand long before I could fathom...
Had it been today.... I could have never ever missed having a father figure in life since I d accept him as my Go To man with full awareness....
Nonetheless.... He was past and I am glad I now know how dearly he loved me till his last breath....
The day he died, I was away attending a family function at Nagpur...
I knew he wasn't been keeping well,
I had visited him just the day I left for Nagpur....
My maiden family hadn't told me that Grandpa was hospitalised since they wanted me to concentrate on my newly married in law's house function...
I didn't have even a faint idea about him being in a coma....
Amidst a poem recital evening where I was sitting amongst a crowd of relatives listening to poetry, I felt numb and restless . There were knots in the stomach and extreme upheaval....
I got up and came down in the garden to call back home....
I just asked, he is going isn't he?
The voice on the other end broke into a teary affirmation....
Such was our bond... I was on phone just when the monitor showed his pulse going down sinking into a zero...
I just knew he was going.... and he made sure I knew....
Some things remain special and unanswered in life....
This evening was one such mystery...
Well, this was about another man in my life...
Ajoba...

Figuring out about father figure...

Having posted about my father, I thought of also posting about how life shapes up for every individual... unique, unrepetative non synonymous are the words that ring in my mind when I think of how even identical twins have a diametrically different experience world...
I was the only child of my parents and I do not know if this makes it a fortunate fact or otherwise since I don't know how growing up in company would be? I was raised with meticulous planning and good cocooning in and out if the house... however this did not make me limited to exposure, however I was definitely more self conscious than most of my peers in school.
Studying in an girls only school, going to learn Kathak where most of my batch mates were girls, my contact with boys of my age remained limited to the gymnastic camp, theatre workshops and playtime mates during holidays. As I ve mentioned earlier , dad was as good as frighteningly absent , I had no brother and next to nil close cousin who would enrich my interaction with the opposite sex.
Grandpa was grandpa and knew exactly what his grand daughter was made up of.... he made sure he pushed me in the right direction at right time..
But... I missed having a father figure in life.... a dad, a pop, a Papa, a daddy to go to... to ask questions about, to tell about some things which only a daughter and a dad can share... that special bond... the pampering care... the feeling of being protected...
I never felt safe of falling back on anyone strong or having a backup plan in the form of a father figure....
This made many things difficult.
The idea of Man/boys/males seemed alien and unexplored... and hence fascinating....
This led to experiences which were very different that most of my peer girl contemporaries.... I will try and share my experiences with people in general in the blog posts that follow....
And by doing this I am absolutely not trying to gain any sympathy nevertheless I would definitely like to Comb through the complex intermingling of trigger action response result circuit that we fall in our adulthood. Dissecting the nitty gritties of childhood influences on Adolescent behaviour has been my personal favorite subject of research...
So far, so good.... I ll call it a day....
They say a blog a day keeps stress at bay.... I hope this stands true for me...
Goodnight folks.
Ciao....

God, father and I

There are somethings which are just there. And we cannot touch them... they are so meant to be... like a few people in our lives or a handful of situations that we face at significant times of our life... if we look back, we 'd find there could hardly be any other way it could have been done and had it been any other way we wouldn't have been what we are today...
It's not just education and upbringing that makes us what we are but essentially the experience package that we have signed up for... having experience again does not guarentee wisdom, very few people evolve and go beyond what life has taught them...
Getting off the philosophical emblem I am going to aim at dwelling deep into my experience world and am going to fetch instances which might be collectively responsible for my present...
At an age where kids crave for an emotionally sound childhood, I was flung on a a dual living for existence... I had a biological mom and then I had my grand mom who raised me... so destiny in a way bestowed me with two female caregivers... one who provided for and exuded a string of attachment...my mother and the other my granny who raised me right from the age of a few months till I was well into teens reliving her motherhood but this time with a tinge of extra responsibility since I was someone else's child.... I stayed with my grand parents on weekdays and travelled to my suburban home to my parents house over the weekend... this made me crave the company of both sets of care givers... Mom was a good influence and a rare company which I craved for.... Dad was a conservative alpha male who was oblivious to the fact that he had a child, he would have been more involved had I been a Son instead of a daughter. That's his upbringing ofcourse....
I had a few traumatic experiences in the childhood as far as my paternal interactions are concerned...
Father has always based his life philosophy out of fear instead of out of love...
Hence Anger was a huge weapon he used to combat me. I use the word combat here which might sound a bit over the top , but in true sense he did. As unpretentious and carefree as I was...like all innocent children are, my child like natural playfulness was scarred for life by his bouts of outrage, hateful expression and egoistic attitude. I was exposed to a highly toxic spiteful language and actions rooting from violence throughout my childhood...
Ofcourse he in turn had his upbringing and circumstances to be how he was..
He had to work very early in life to support his family. Work pressure and financial independence brought him a plethora of ego boosting careless layer to the inferiority complex he had carried till then and then bad company at work made things easy to fall out... language harsh , addictions easy to follow and focus on progress blur.
I remember we had lots of flower trees in our ground floor apartment then. Making flower garlands was my favorite passtime over the weekends... one day I declared I d be making a huge one for our home Ganesh photo frame.... Hence I did.... in my excitement I wore it myself to show my parents how it looked.... I was unaware of the religious aspects of making offerings of exclusivity to Deities then....
Baba in outrage ripped off the garland off my neck and flung it out of the balcony saying I have ruined it....
There was Anger Volume and Hatred in his words....
All I remember crystal clear that my heart pounded heavily as tears rolled down my tender cheeks....
This was my first tryst with Religion based on idol worship which was fear based....
Once I smelled some flowers kept for his Puja, the episode repeated....
Once an offering slipped off my hand and fell to the ground, the episode repeated....
Once I touched God's frame before I bathed the episode repeated....
My mother was protective however she couldn't surpass his Negativity...
My aunt was a Christian. Once she sent Easter eggs for us.
Incidentally it was Ganesh Chaturthi and everyone at home was about to break some fast.
I in excitement served everyone a piece of Easter eggs in their Naivedyam plates....
You can imagine what blasting I must have received to do an act like that...
I was labelled as their official Dharm bhrashtaa from then....
In my college years I was tagged and labelled as an Aashrit in the house which was a huge blow to my self esteem as a young girl...
Having said that I on the other hand was raised by an extremely liberal set of grandparents....
Grandfather a non believer in the concept of God and grandmom a believer in God but an absolute non ritualistic person....
This contrast in upbringing led to many questions in my young mind....
There was confusion about influence....
This made me neither a skeptic nor a follower.
However it definitely caused me a lot of baggage that I had to carry as an adult...
A baggage that was challenging to shed off....
However as I distanced myself from him as I grew up our clashes continued till we blocked each other's worlds from our lives until last 5 years since the birth of my Child Kanha our lives have intersected again and this time better and in a mellow way.
Not because he changed, but I did and the circumstances around me did too... his love for my son is unlimited raised to eternity.... this makes things comfortable and better for the family...
Kanha and my dad now share an extremely strong bond.... he dotes on his grandson while my little one bosses over his grand dad.
It's nice to watch this from a distance....
This time however, I watch as a human...
Completely unattached non involved unaffected and neutral towards both my father and my son.
Now however I have a Voice and assertiveness to put forth my views and principles of upbringing that I want to be executed while raising my child.
I strongly stand by my opinion that as much as I love being a mother, I believe that Kanha is through me and I don't own him...
This is a blessing , trust me it is....
I will try to pen down thoughts more often on this page with no barriers....
I guess life is an open book and venturing into spirituality has made me understand one thing....
It's okay to be vulnerable , it's okay to be dark, it's okay to suffer to fight to rise or not....
After all, We all are learning, are on the same journey, just at different times stages....
On the eve of his 64 th Birthday. I wish him all the best living a life of contentment peace and joy.
Had it not been for you, I wouldn't have been me....
Thank you Baba.

Nritya-Pancham

I faintly remember winning a Trophy as a young girl dancing on 'Ek Do Teen' song from 'Tezaab'. It was a dance competition at my mom's office on the occasion of annual puja ceremony. As I danced without training however with no inhibitions on stage, my mother sensed that this talent needed a structure and discipline. So she took me to one of the most prestigious dance institute in Mumbai at that time and enrolled me for Kathak.

 At that time I remember; for me, it was just a dance class with a strict teacher who told me to stand in a certain way and place my feet in a specific pattern and my fingers to be held close together and hand gestures to be executed in a particular manner. Frankly at that age I had no idea what I was doing and why I was told to do what needed to be done. Dance at that time for me was more interesting onscreen and the class decorum made it absolutely boring. I would complain of feet pain and legs aching and stomach hurting and teacher scolding me. I gave all excuses I could to skip my classes, but my parents kept at it. They would carry me back from class , apply balm and oil after practice and they would wait outside my class as moral support  till my batch was done outside the dance hall just to ensure I kept at it. All that whining finally faded after I slowly but surely saw the difference in myself while dancing as well as otherwise as a student of Kathak.

From a dread hour to a time that I gladly looked forward to, it took me a few years to realize that I belonged to dance as much as dance belonged to me and that my Dance teacher was not just a run of the mill tutor who taught me how to move, but indeed my Kathak Guru who taught me to embrace art as a way of life...

The grooming began on all fronts, I saw my Guru's taking their job of teaching very seriously.

Punctuality was my first lesson, I remember My Guru Ashatai, Soniatai and teachers Babitatai, Anildada always coming before time in class. This inculcated the value of time which I am proud to have followed till date. I also remember them carrying their meals from home and as I grew observing them, I absolutely vouch for eating home cooked stuff on and off class schedule... I saw the amount of hours they took to compose and formulate the curriculum, choreograph new compositions and calculate accurately which student will appear for which exam at what time according to his or her capacity and Tayyari amazes me.

I remember; my Gurus always dressed elegantly and looked graceful for every single class that I have had with them. This made me value personal presentation in my professional life which has benefited me in all ways, All of them had a one on one bond with each of their disciples. I am trying my level best to nurture the values bestowed upon me beyond the aesthetics of dance in day to day living.

After being in this field for almost 28 years now and after attending numerous dance workshops, I happened to attend Kathakatha Antardhara , a 5 day residential workshop at Rambhau Mhalgi Prabodhini organised by Laayangikam Trust under the tutilage of the great Kathak Maestro Pt. Rajendra Gangani 2nd time in a row. As much as last year, this year was even more fruitful in terms of the entire experience from an artist's point of view.

Right from the commencement of sessions as per the given time schedule to unbiased method of treating every student as an equal, this workshop was a page turner in true sense... The very fact that there were almost no mundane chores of daily life there, we had all the time to devote to one purpose that is Kathak. With the various sessions on the power of expression, music , accompaniment, rhythm the Bloom bud of inquisitiveness was watered with a constant fluid flow of knowledge and experience which epitomised us as seekers of Art and it blossomed opening its petals one by one every day....

I have experienced a divine connection and a sacred moment of a very personal and a pure bond that happened as I bowed down over Guruji's feet every morning after Natraj pujan. That Guru pranam was of a different league altogether. A disciple surrenders his ego and touches Guru's feet with full faith and the Guru with full acceptance blesses the disciple and takes responsibility of his thirst for knowledge. This is exactly what happened between every student in the workshop and Guruji. He is a high vibrational soul of an artist at an extremely advanced stage of evolution. This is felt by the way he conducts every practical session in class and the way he interacts with accompanists, co-artists, seniors, guest speakers as well as his disciples off class... He is I would strongly say an ideal example of how an artist should be.

The sessions with Smt.Rajashri Pathak on vocal accompaniment for Kathak was full of lyrical, musical and witty anecdotes. We were lost in time as she explored the folklore music in semi classical flavor that's used in Kathak. Smt. Manjari Sinha patiently answered all our doubts on critical evaluation of any performance and changed many misconceptions about the way articles are or should be written about Dance or any art per say.

The session with Pt. Suresh Talwalkar focused on the intricacies of taal and the way rhythm must be explored and deciphered by exponants. We were blessed to have an evening learning from another great artist Shri. Haresh Gangani teaching some of the authentic heritage bandish's of taal paksh from Jaipur gharana. One evening was spent with our Guruji asking him tete-a-tete questions straight from heart about his journey, kathak, riyaz, teaching methodologies etc. The in house accompanists Shri. Fatehsingh Gangani on tabla and Shri Parihar on lehra and vocals was a daily treat to us students. This year we explored Dhamar taal in practical sessions and an exquisite thumri 'Khelan Hari nikase'...

One of the largest conclaves with kathak performers and students from all over India under one roof was like a truly rare occurance. Exchange of ideas stories and experience made it even more enjoyable. The Kathak comunity is now close knit and wider every year as we make new friends and connect with farther cities and places breaking down barriers of geography and language uniting with one purpose Kathak.

Spacious riyaz hall, excellent acoustic setting, comfortable stay arrangement, clean rooms, vegetarian wholesome food and excellent management made this workshop a memory to cherish forever. A huge round of applause to the founder of Layangikam Smt. Archana Sunjay for organizing this workshop so meticulously. A loud shout out to my contemporaries to come experience this next year by joining the Layangikam family and living a dream of Gurukul in reality.

- Prajakta Sathe