Yesterday was a superlatively engaging day! It is indispensable to post about it since it lead to a few insights and paramount divulgations. A one on one private class on a holiday means a relaxed one post breakfast where the student and I go deep into practice and learning for an hours slot time per student who books a one on one class... However it was tad bit stressful to have a breakfast class at 8 am which meant morning chores , domestic stuff had to either shift early , wait or get juggled throughout the day! Plus it pains to have students arrive late for a preplanned class. I am ready set and waiting at the studio at 7.55 am sharp, the student arrives at 8.23 am. I wonder why and how can people be unapologetic about using up other's time and devalue it. Plus giving what I promised is in principal my responsibility. I still am about to be unbashfully brutal and stop the class at 9 am sharp saying that I was ready and my time is over. I need to unlearn somethings and start being assertively professional. I have taken some extremely expensive classes on a per sitting basis which cost a few many thousands per hour and the trainers do not entertain even for a second more than promised. When would I learn? Or do I need to? How vital is my time and how far do I respect it? How do I make people around me respect it equally. Who doesn't love a promising Saturday morning. This lead to a delay in my gym routine and I went in late and rushed through my LEGS day. Duh... I hate compromising on the fitness routine and have affirmed myself of getting my priorities in place.
Post Gym was a new routine that I have recently set up for myself. Something which is extremely primary and may be considered insignificant by myself in the past. I have observed a pattern in how my personality has come through. First being an only child meant that I had no exposure to physically challenging work/chores ever. All I did through out my childhood was dance sing play go to school and sleep. There was discipline , since I grew up with my grandparents but there were no domestic duties. We had help, even after marriage I have had help around and have never consistently needed to do housework. This may have (I suspect) lead to a sense of carefree divulging to a careless attitude in how I lived earlier. I ve cooked but I ve created unexplainable heap of vessels and dishes after cooking, I have never ever thought of any conservation strategy. I have put in 3-4 machine loads , have changed the sheets of my bed even twice a day and have maybe not given a thought as to I would have indirectly created tons of work which was completely unavoidable. Paying househelp doesnt mean I own them or they owe me to do more work every day even if I pay them really well or even double. A) Its such a gross loss of ecologically important resource that water is and also waste of Manpower and time. Why couldn't it occur to me early? B) Having the power to pay means it chucks out independence big time! I had maybe become lazy in the past few years! Throw m oney and the work would be done. C) The ample freedom to utilize the time saved by not doing these duties myself meant I kind of not took DOING NOW, GETTING IT DONE seriously.... I was this happy moody laid back self proclaimed artist who lived life on her own terms not giving a damn about anything.
Well, that needed a tweeking of sorts. I needed to Value Freedom and the amount of time in my hands to be proactively getting independent in Actuality and respecting Labor, I needed to treasure the freedom and this meant learning it the hard way. There was a phase in life when I would go into mild depression when a maid wouldn't turn up, I would even pile on dishes till she came and would ask her I ll pay you more just get the damn thing done. I would store dirty laundry and put multiple loads for the day she arrived overburdening her. Then there was a phase where I cribbed and cried , but did the things and expected validation. I wanted to get praised for doing what I did. Ridiculously so did it mean I would invest the time gone in doing the house work for creating amazing art? No, ofcourse not! I would have slept or surfed or gone shopping had I been free. But I sulked. I burnt opportunities for temporary comfort.
So, I decided to do something about it. I decided to take a full fortnight and maybe more if everything goes right of doing every single house work by myself, I started doing it without any prior training, exposure or preparation. I started doing stuff and with no complain , wanting to learn and get it done. first it took time, then it tired me too. Slowly as days passed I got habituated and then now it has come to a point when I am enjoying doing it. It acts like it is cleansing my system. I now value manpower more and have observed myself to be more efficient, more creative , more productive and happier. I suddenly find my freetime has become precious and I strive to make the most to it!!! I value efforts , I treasure human presence. I now conserve resources and am discerning in planning my day and spanning priorities. Its a rule that verything appears difficult or impossible until its done. Slowly being at it continues to make us gain mastery over it no matter how.
It blew my mind as to how difficult cleanning a milkpot is, and the amount of effort it takes to fold clothes which are tossed inside out... phew... careless was I, but not anymore! If took 5 secs to pour water in a tea mug I drank from so that it doesnt get dried or stained... I never did it earlier... now I do. Was there a need of changing sheets twice a day? no, now its gone down to once a day... Loads are lessening and the household is happy.
So after the routine household chores I decided to lie down for a while and in the noon there was a dove couple cooing and a crow screetching and the compound cat on the meowing prowl and also a drill in the wing next to us. I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds, there was no chance that I was going to get any sleep nevertheless I did just listen.... It was the noisy calm the enveloped me with the cool noon breeze. I was up in 30 mins without any compaint and NO snobbish sleep deprived mood swing (which was a regular fare earlier) ready to go. And the mood had to be set! Why wouldn't it be? After all I was going to see my most favorite person in the world, my Guruji.
Evening was spent in spiritual bliss where my Guruji spoke about Duties,Responsibilities and Associated Guilt while living. It was wonderful to hear him speak about the equilibrium between Ego and Conscience and how we seek balance between being Indulgent and Drawing a line and enjoying freewill. He gave practical tips to move through this struggle with ease. It was followed by a fulmoon meditation which was very peaceful. I touched his feet , looked deep into his eyes and he asked me to come meet him soon. The smile just reassures and corrects all doubts and makes one blissful.
Then I went to meet my dear friend AD. I ve written about him earlier. He was back from his helicopter ride around Everest and background study tour of mountaineering in the hills. He was full of stories of travel and philosophy. Its fascinating to hear him talk with such passion for life and being inspired at all time. Time just freezes when he speaks. I met him at 9.30pm and left at 12. Only promising to meet again and soon to share more. Life is full of amazing friends meant to add on such value to living. I feel blessed. More about this meet soon!
Till then.... bbye!!!
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