Weird start of the day as cubby went for his week without walls which meant I had to make the alarm go trrrriiiingggg much early than usual to get him outdoors ready and make fresh breakfast and tiffin for him and rush n coax and push him to school half an hour early and that too without any morning meltdowns or tantrums and raised voices.... ROFL... I guess I am not much of a team player when it comes to tasks which have deadlines and getting Kanha to school is one of it... I hate to admit , but it gives me a sense of achievement and pride every single day when seemingly irrelevant or tiny tasks get completed before time.
I hadn't slept well as usual the night before and was super anxious over back triceps that we were going to work on... I hate to disappoint Vinod Sir spevially when he so looks forward to train me. I wonder why all others call him by his name? A trainer must always be given his or her respect. I am so sure he m ust be younger than me. But what He does is stupendous... 'go go or you can do it or dont give up just 5 more or last 10 .... jayega... chalo chalo karenge....' aren't words but life lessons. I am amazed at how the workout place slowly transforms into a close knit community. I d curse myself for minding my own business all this while and not interact with people around.... All of them have turned out to be warm and wise. All that fear based religion bias I have heard from my parents (specially father) is worthless piece of shit. Religion is not our choice, its what we are born with, just like our looks. Of course later it makes a difference as to how we turn it into a positive or a negative lifestyle is a definite choice! Its funny how a typical conversation starter in the gym is 'HOW MUCH HAVE YOU LOST?' And I just smile. I have gained a lot, lost none.... and it sets the right mood to talk further..... It takes the conversation from Struggles to empowerment. Instead of what sacrifices ppl have done or how much ppl have to cut down or how better ppl were a few days back or how ppl are not regular and how work and family ruins it.... The conversation goes on importance of keeping a check on priorities , Loving yourself, Eating clean and unprocessed and investing in yourself, about how first Raji, then Tanvir and now Vinod Sir have played important parts. I get happy to get the talks which have a positive vibe.... I hate bloopers and sulkers....
I came back home to clean up , fill up and crash for a while and then woke up with a shudder with some unknown dream. I generally remember my dreams crystal clear but unfortunately this one I couldn',..
Class was super duper busy with our venue changed due to an exhibition at our regular hall plus a few new enquiries and admissions and plus the musicians coming in,plus the pressure of starting a brand new Bhaav class for the seniors.... The day ended at 9.30 took me an hour to come to bed. I hate it when unnecessary calls or pings turn up when I am about to sit for sadhana or riyaz. I took a few calls and by the time I finished it was 11 and I was droopy eyed. Got an eye shut for about an hour when the man of the house returns loudly at 12. I still try to sleep. He decides to not sleep but watch TV which is still fine but He returns to bed with noises which irritates me. Yes I am a big sleep police specially if I am half awake. Himanshu always jokes that I am a different person when I am sleep deprived. He tells me I abuse when I m woken up from sleep. I can imagine that and am also sure that must 100 percent be the case. However I dont remember even an word of what I say in the morning. He also jokes that I am drugged or intoxicated on dreams and I wonder and secretly hope I do good naughty stuff in half sleep... ROFL....
So, the watermelon allergy wasn't a fluke after the fever and upset stomach and body ache, it has given me a rash....
on my neck and chin which I cleverly hide with a concealer. Now that fruit is dead to me.
I still feel dazed today and have to meet Steven at the studio in the noon and workout. God knows how I am going to do it... And Dad is home to take care of cubby thank goodness.... Extra classes in the evening and pending rehearsal today. I am actually missing a hug, a male hug. Himanshu is such an awkward hugger and I crave for tactile acknowledgement and validation. I am glad he is planning for things that make me happy recently, so its start gazing this weekend, Saputara in April and Machan in May. Makes me so happy.
Sunday evening meet with Kunal and the brain storming session went well. Lets see how creative energies surge and mingle to result in something productive. I better sign off.... another poem brews within.... so far.... love you zindagi!
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