Ripe bond...

I was a huge part of my Grandpa's life. C.A. by profession , avid reader and an atheist he was the most straightforward person one could ever meet... He had a no nonsense policy and took responsibility of every action of his. He meticulously planned every single day and worked clockwise may it be in professional or personal life... He gave me one huge gift.... a quote....
He used to call me Sonya. "Sonya, always forgive and forget" he said.... He saw me grow, blossom, rise, drown and struggle.... he always knew my highs and lows... he was the one who always believed in me.... he was someone I could have gone to as my sounding board.... but I realised this long after he was gone... my evolution into mature adulthood did not intersect on his time on this earth.
People in my family still say that I was probably the only person he loved the most in his lifetime... The only time he cried in life was when he bid me farewell and send me off as a bride on my marriage day... He had tears in his eyes when I met him last in the hospital and fed him tea with Marie biscuits that evening.... I left for another city the same night, never to see him again...
There are periods in your life where you choose to be so unaware about everything else , that this precious bond slipped off my palms like dry sand long before I could fathom...
Had it been today.... I could have never ever missed having a father figure in life since I d accept him as my Go To man with full awareness....
Nonetheless.... He was past and I am glad I now know how dearly he loved me till his last breath....
The day he died, I was away attending a family function at Nagpur...
I knew he wasn't been keeping well,
I had visited him just the day I left for Nagpur....
My maiden family hadn't told me that Grandpa was hospitalised since they wanted me to concentrate on my newly married in law's house function...
I didn't have even a faint idea about him being in a coma....
Amidst a poem recital evening where I was sitting amongst a crowd of relatives listening to poetry, I felt numb and restless . There were knots in the stomach and extreme upheaval....
I got up and came down in the garden to call back home....
I just asked, he is going isn't he?
The voice on the other end broke into a teary affirmation....
Such was our bond... I was on phone just when the monitor showed his pulse going down sinking into a zero...
I just knew he was going.... and he made sure I knew....
Some things remain special and unanswered in life....
This evening was one such mystery...
Well, this was about another man in my life...
Ajoba...

Figuring out about father figure...

Having posted about my father, I thought of also posting about how life shapes up for every individual... unique, unrepetative non synonymous are the words that ring in my mind when I think of how even identical twins have a diametrically different experience world...
I was the only child of my parents and I do not know if this makes it a fortunate fact or otherwise since I don't know how growing up in company would be? I was raised with meticulous planning and good cocooning in and out if the house... however this did not make me limited to exposure, however I was definitely more self conscious than most of my peers in school.
Studying in an girls only school, going to learn Kathak where most of my batch mates were girls, my contact with boys of my age remained limited to the gymnastic camp, theatre workshops and playtime mates during holidays. As I ve mentioned earlier , dad was as good as frighteningly absent , I had no brother and next to nil close cousin who would enrich my interaction with the opposite sex.
Grandpa was grandpa and knew exactly what his grand daughter was made up of.... he made sure he pushed me in the right direction at right time..
But... I missed having a father figure in life.... a dad, a pop, a Papa, a daddy to go to... to ask questions about, to tell about some things which only a daughter and a dad can share... that special bond... the pampering care... the feeling of being protected...
I never felt safe of falling back on anyone strong or having a backup plan in the form of a father figure....
This made many things difficult.
The idea of Man/boys/males seemed alien and unexplored... and hence fascinating....
This led to experiences which were very different that most of my peer girl contemporaries.... I will try and share my experiences with people in general in the blog posts that follow....
And by doing this I am absolutely not trying to gain any sympathy nevertheless I would definitely like to Comb through the complex intermingling of trigger action response result circuit that we fall in our adulthood. Dissecting the nitty gritties of childhood influences on Adolescent behaviour has been my personal favorite subject of research...
So far, so good.... I ll call it a day....
They say a blog a day keeps stress at bay.... I hope this stands true for me...
Goodnight folks.
Ciao....

God, father and I

There are somethings which are just there. And we cannot touch them... they are so meant to be... like a few people in our lives or a handful of situations that we face at significant times of our life... if we look back, we 'd find there could hardly be any other way it could have been done and had it been any other way we wouldn't have been what we are today...
It's not just education and upbringing that makes us what we are but essentially the experience package that we have signed up for... having experience again does not guarentee wisdom, very few people evolve and go beyond what life has taught them...
Getting off the philosophical emblem I am going to aim at dwelling deep into my experience world and am going to fetch instances which might be collectively responsible for my present...
At an age where kids crave for an emotionally sound childhood, I was flung on a a dual living for existence... I had a biological mom and then I had my grand mom who raised me... so destiny in a way bestowed me with two female caregivers... one who provided for and exuded a string of attachment...my mother and the other my granny who raised me right from the age of a few months till I was well into teens reliving her motherhood but this time with a tinge of extra responsibility since I was someone else's child.... I stayed with my grand parents on weekdays and travelled to my suburban home to my parents house over the weekend... this made me crave the company of both sets of care givers... Mom was a good influence and a rare company which I craved for.... Dad was a conservative alpha male who was oblivious to the fact that he had a child, he would have been more involved had I been a Son instead of a daughter. That's his upbringing ofcourse....
I had a few traumatic experiences in the childhood as far as my paternal interactions are concerned...
Father has always based his life philosophy out of fear instead of out of love...
Hence Anger was a huge weapon he used to combat me. I use the word combat here which might sound a bit over the top , but in true sense he did. As unpretentious and carefree as I was...like all innocent children are, my child like natural playfulness was scarred for life by his bouts of outrage, hateful expression and egoistic attitude. I was exposed to a highly toxic spiteful language and actions rooting from violence throughout my childhood...
Ofcourse he in turn had his upbringing and circumstances to be how he was..
He had to work very early in life to support his family. Work pressure and financial independence brought him a plethora of ego boosting careless layer to the inferiority complex he had carried till then and then bad company at work made things easy to fall out... language harsh , addictions easy to follow and focus on progress blur.
I remember we had lots of flower trees in our ground floor apartment then. Making flower garlands was my favorite passtime over the weekends... one day I declared I d be making a huge one for our home Ganesh photo frame.... Hence I did.... in my excitement I wore it myself to show my parents how it looked.... I was unaware of the religious aspects of making offerings of exclusivity to Deities then....
Baba in outrage ripped off the garland off my neck and flung it out of the balcony saying I have ruined it....
There was Anger Volume and Hatred in his words....
All I remember crystal clear that my heart pounded heavily as tears rolled down my tender cheeks....
This was my first tryst with Religion based on idol worship which was fear based....
Once I smelled some flowers kept for his Puja, the episode repeated....
Once an offering slipped off my hand and fell to the ground, the episode repeated....
Once I touched God's frame before I bathed the episode repeated....
My mother was protective however she couldn't surpass his Negativity...
My aunt was a Christian. Once she sent Easter eggs for us.
Incidentally it was Ganesh Chaturthi and everyone at home was about to break some fast.
I in excitement served everyone a piece of Easter eggs in their Naivedyam plates....
You can imagine what blasting I must have received to do an act like that...
I was labelled as their official Dharm bhrashtaa from then....
In my college years I was tagged and labelled as an Aashrit in the house which was a huge blow to my self esteem as a young girl...
Having said that I on the other hand was raised by an extremely liberal set of grandparents....
Grandfather a non believer in the concept of God and grandmom a believer in God but an absolute non ritualistic person....
This contrast in upbringing led to many questions in my young mind....
There was confusion about influence....
This made me neither a skeptic nor a follower.
However it definitely caused me a lot of baggage that I had to carry as an adult...
A baggage that was challenging to shed off....
However as I distanced myself from him as I grew up our clashes continued till we blocked each other's worlds from our lives until last 5 years since the birth of my Child Kanha our lives have intersected again and this time better and in a mellow way.
Not because he changed, but I did and the circumstances around me did too... his love for my son is unlimited raised to eternity.... this makes things comfortable and better for the family...
Kanha and my dad now share an extremely strong bond.... he dotes on his grandson while my little one bosses over his grand dad.
It's nice to watch this from a distance....
This time however, I watch as a human...
Completely unattached non involved unaffected and neutral towards both my father and my son.
Now however I have a Voice and assertiveness to put forth my views and principles of upbringing that I want to be executed while raising my child.
I strongly stand by my opinion that as much as I love being a mother, I believe that Kanha is through me and I don't own him...
This is a blessing , trust me it is....
I will try to pen down thoughts more often on this page with no barriers....
I guess life is an open book and venturing into spirituality has made me understand one thing....
It's okay to be vulnerable , it's okay to be dark, it's okay to suffer to fight to rise or not....
After all, We all are learning, are on the same journey, just at different times stages....
On the eve of his 64 th Birthday. I wish him all the best living a life of contentment peace and joy.
Had it not been for you, I wouldn't have been me....
Thank you Baba.

Nritya-Pancham

I faintly remember winning a Trophy as a young girl dancing on 'Ek Do Teen' song from 'Tezaab'. It was a dance competition at my mom's office on the occasion of annual puja ceremony. As I danced without training however with no inhibitions on stage, my mother sensed that this talent needed a structure and discipline. So she took me to one of the most prestigious dance institute in Mumbai at that time and enrolled me for Kathak.

 At that time I remember; for me, it was just a dance class with a strict teacher who told me to stand in a certain way and place my feet in a specific pattern and my fingers to be held close together and hand gestures to be executed in a particular manner. Frankly at that age I had no idea what I was doing and why I was told to do what needed to be done. Dance at that time for me was more interesting onscreen and the class decorum made it absolutely boring. I would complain of feet pain and legs aching and stomach hurting and teacher scolding me. I gave all excuses I could to skip my classes, but my parents kept at it. They would carry me back from class , apply balm and oil after practice and they would wait outside my class as moral support  till my batch was done outside the dance hall just to ensure I kept at it. All that whining finally faded after I slowly but surely saw the difference in myself while dancing as well as otherwise as a student of Kathak.

From a dread hour to a time that I gladly looked forward to, it took me a few years to realize that I belonged to dance as much as dance belonged to me and that my Dance teacher was not just a run of the mill tutor who taught me how to move, but indeed my Kathak Guru who taught me to embrace art as a way of life...

The grooming began on all fronts, I saw my Guru's taking their job of teaching very seriously.

Punctuality was my first lesson, I remember My Guru Ashatai, Soniatai and teachers Babitatai, Anildada always coming before time in class. This inculcated the value of time which I am proud to have followed till date. I also remember them carrying their meals from home and as I grew observing them, I absolutely vouch for eating home cooked stuff on and off class schedule... I saw the amount of hours they took to compose and formulate the curriculum, choreograph new compositions and calculate accurately which student will appear for which exam at what time according to his or her capacity and Tayyari amazes me.

I remember; my Gurus always dressed elegantly and looked graceful for every single class that I have had with them. This made me value personal presentation in my professional life which has benefited me in all ways, All of them had a one on one bond with each of their disciples. I am trying my level best to nurture the values bestowed upon me beyond the aesthetics of dance in day to day living.

After being in this field for almost 28 years now and after attending numerous dance workshops, I happened to attend Kathakatha Antardhara , a 5 day residential workshop at Rambhau Mhalgi Prabodhini organised by Laayangikam Trust under the tutilage of the great Kathak Maestro Pt. Rajendra Gangani 2nd time in a row. As much as last year, this year was even more fruitful in terms of the entire experience from an artist's point of view.

Right from the commencement of sessions as per the given time schedule to unbiased method of treating every student as an equal, this workshop was a page turner in true sense... The very fact that there were almost no mundane chores of daily life there, we had all the time to devote to one purpose that is Kathak. With the various sessions on the power of expression, music , accompaniment, rhythm the Bloom bud of inquisitiveness was watered with a constant fluid flow of knowledge and experience which epitomised us as seekers of Art and it blossomed opening its petals one by one every day....

I have experienced a divine connection and a sacred moment of a very personal and a pure bond that happened as I bowed down over Guruji's feet every morning after Natraj pujan. That Guru pranam was of a different league altogether. A disciple surrenders his ego and touches Guru's feet with full faith and the Guru with full acceptance blesses the disciple and takes responsibility of his thirst for knowledge. This is exactly what happened between every student in the workshop and Guruji. He is a high vibrational soul of an artist at an extremely advanced stage of evolution. This is felt by the way he conducts every practical session in class and the way he interacts with accompanists, co-artists, seniors, guest speakers as well as his disciples off class... He is I would strongly say an ideal example of how an artist should be.

The sessions with Smt.Rajashri Pathak on vocal accompaniment for Kathak was full of lyrical, musical and witty anecdotes. We were lost in time as she explored the folklore music in semi classical flavor that's used in Kathak. Smt. Manjari Sinha patiently answered all our doubts on critical evaluation of any performance and changed many misconceptions about the way articles are or should be written about Dance or any art per say.

The session with Pt. Suresh Talwalkar focused on the intricacies of taal and the way rhythm must be explored and deciphered by exponants. We were blessed to have an evening learning from another great artist Shri. Haresh Gangani teaching some of the authentic heritage bandish's of taal paksh from Jaipur gharana. One evening was spent with our Guruji asking him tete-a-tete questions straight from heart about his journey, kathak, riyaz, teaching methodologies etc. The in house accompanists Shri. Fatehsingh Gangani on tabla and Shri Parihar on lehra and vocals was a daily treat to us students. This year we explored Dhamar taal in practical sessions and an exquisite thumri 'Khelan Hari nikase'...

One of the largest conclaves with kathak performers and students from all over India under one roof was like a truly rare occurance. Exchange of ideas stories and experience made it even more enjoyable. The Kathak comunity is now close knit and wider every year as we make new friends and connect with farther cities and places breaking down barriers of geography and language uniting with one purpose Kathak.

Spacious riyaz hall, excellent acoustic setting, comfortable stay arrangement, clean rooms, vegetarian wholesome food and excellent management made this workshop a memory to cherish forever. A huge round of applause to the founder of Layangikam Smt. Archana Sunjay for organizing this workshop so meticulously. A loud shout out to my contemporaries to come experience this next year by joining the Layangikam family and living a dream of Gurukul in reality.

- Prajakta Sathe

jaga ani jagu dya...

Mansa olakhta yena ha anubhavacha bhag asla tarihi tyat aapli pragalbhata kaami yete.

Mansa olkhun apla sampark aani sahavas tyabarhukum tharavne hyala vyakti chaturya mhantat yeil. 

Mansa paarkhun tyavar swatahacha mat athva tika sarvansamor mandna hi judgement hote

Khota vagna khoti khoti stuti karna garaj nastana bolna kiva vayphal ikadchya tikadchya gappa marna hya goshtinmadhe jyanna ruchi asel tyanni ti avashya karavi

Pan he hi titkach khara ki utshrunkhal vartan patkan olkhu yeta

Eka chashmyatun jag pahun sarkhe Rang disu shaktatahi,

Pan ajubajula khup swant sukhay , gahiri, shant ani sarvasamanyanpeksha vegli ashi hi mansa ahet...

Apan adhyatmik utkranti chya vegveglya tappyavar ahot he khara ahe

Vayyatikritya jari vaicharik bandhilki nasli mhanje manatlya manat apan technically kahihi vichar karu shakto ani kahihi vichar yeu hi shaktat..... tari dusryanchya vyaktiswatantryavar ani vaicharik baithakivar kadhihi tashere odhu naye...

Integrity Genuinity Simplicity ani sahaj sundar sthayibhaav hya goshti rare ahet aani aslya kiva dislya tar tya atyant kaljipurvak japlya pahijet kiva tyanchi kadar keli pahije.

Thoughts over a walk...

There are people who work extremely well using assertiveness as a virtue towards getting things done. 

There are two sides to the coin of behavioural characteristics 

Confidence brings an aura of positivity to the person who exhibits it via body language, speech, tone, expressions and response towards the external precursors...

Things that determine nature of a person maybe his upbringing, experience, maturity and evolution as a human

Humans are far more profound than just an equation of action- reaction...

Some of us are pushy 

Some of us are dominating 

Some of us intimidating 

Many of us, adamantly stubborn

Many intruding 

A few downright irritants 

And these adjectives arise due to differences in opinion of people that perceive us... 

Many chose silence as a tool of response 

This by far is an extremely valid way of communicating since that is when energies speak... 

And right messages are accurately conveyed to people via vibrations...

Those who sense it, resonate...

Those who fail to sense aren't meant to know the response. 

Trusting our instincts and sticking to what our gut says is by far one of the most reliable source of decision making tool ever known to mankind 

It's okay to be selective about the tribe you want to dwell with 

Our frequencies must ideally determine the interaction between Us 

This isn't far beyond the mundane nitty gritties of current busy life of ours, 

It's very much a part of us and a huge part of what we come across 

Atleast it should be...

Having said that, the interpersonal Nuances can be well understood by Us only when we truely understand the difference between 

Calm, quiet, peace, mute, silence and null...

I promise myself to listen more than I hear

I pledge to use words only when I really feel like...

I will keep reminding myself that 

Knowledge is Not WISDOM 

Tasmay Shree Guruve Namaha 

-  Prajakta Sathe

Soulmate triology...

Rains would kiss the earth and that union would be their love making for it leads to the sprouting of seeds that lay within its womb, fertilising it into blooms... the fragrance is heady and alluring for most of us.... unique and non recreable. That earthy essence of union is Love...

Romantic love, love for family , Love for self, love for society ,unconditional love, Universal love... we have categorised the concept for ourselves.... maybe... pondering on the concept of soulmates for analysis I humbly request to take my write up as a perspective.

We per say imbibe this very characteristic of Love and humor (experiencing joy) from the creator....
We try to find and do find our soulmates at different stages of our lives...

There are ones singular or plural who come in our life with a high speed, the passion is phenomenal, the chemistry is full on and we have the time of our lives with them. Everything is on a high... emotionally and physically... There is a But here.... this doesn't last or isn't meant to be... it either has to fade, go away, lead to circumstantial separation and eventually you don't get to be with the person for some reason or the other.... Both of you have a tough time to get over it/ move on/ let go... we have no choice but to accept it with or without mutual consent...

Then there are soulmates that we live with... we get habituated to with bonds of marriage or mutual commitment... There might be marriage on the cards of love and there might be love strung in the twine of marriage... however they are neither inclusive nor exclusive... There is convenience , comfort , habituation , security, collaboration of funds, intimacy assurance (in most marriages) , joys of parenting and the settlement into family life... it's a safe place to be... We love to be safe.... whether we are in love while being safe is another question... we continue to bask in this happy settlement for nore reasons than one. We are bound by our beliefs our conditioning and our traditions...

And there are soulmates with whom we have a tremendous emotional connect... our thinking vibes with similar frequencies , we compliment each other in all ways intellectually mentally and spiritually as well... there is mutual admiration and respect. We might have thought about each other out of the platonic and may have imagined the physical aspect of union in our minds, but we always stop there. We like to keep some things platonic. There is romance in the incomplete. We never even mention about the possibility of togetherness.... yes there is romance of different things sorts.... there is love for the personality that the other is.... we love our personality when we interact with the other.... but that's all about it....

Soulmates come , stay and go... that's the order of life... nothing is permanent. We'd like to believe that love is, but it isn't. We are intelligent species and with our ability to think and design life in a way that most things are sustainable for a longer period of life we make Bonds and commitments and dwell in them making things work for each other and all others we are associated with.

Cheers to all soulmates who were are and will be...

- Prajakta Sathe

Drishtikon

The making of an artist means much more than signing up for a run of the mill class and more so for the streams of art forms typically popular amongst the layman seekers. Many feel that enrolling their young one for a dance class, a drawing camp or an acting workshop would make artists out of them. Little does the common man know that there goes a plethora of talent, hard work, mentoring, practice and experience that goes into the craft of making an artist out of a human .

In yester years, Guru Shishya Parampara was predominantly prevalent and probably the only way to take up any kind of learning. This ensured that living in close proximity with the Guru, the disciples imbibed knowledge, lifestyle, discipline and wisdom through observation and maximum interaction and his company. In today’s fast paced life, students spend time with Guides, Teachers, Trainers for not  more than a couple of hours per week and that too in a commercial class set up where batches come in and go out on a session basis or a per hourly meter. This stark reality hits us big time when we consider our growth into this ocean of creative brilliance that performing art rightly is, it is natural to find ourselves struggling to hold a reassuring hand of a Guru. Learning happens, unlearning doesn’t and this per say is one of the most essential prerequisites of being anywhere near creative field. 

Having said that, I have a brilliant proof to support the myth that we all stand to believe, ‘Where is the time?’ This is the time and if we really seek, we’ll be lead to an experience worth reliving again and again for the rest of our lifetime. I am a changed person after I’ve attended the residential Katha Kathak Antardhara workshop organized by LAAYANGIKAM at Rambhau Mhalgi Prabodhini at Utan under the guidance of the great Kathak Maestro Pt. Rajendra Ganganiji and a team of brilliant scholars, artists and speakers in various fields of Literary, performing and fine arts. This workshop rightly transforms mere dancers performers and students of Kathak into blooming Artists with sensibilities that are gently opened up to absorb experience and exude creativity through various mediums. 

The sheer brilliance of making this concept work, is the presence of one of the greatest gentlest kindest and most humble artist that Panditji is. We lovingly call him ‘Guruji’  A respectful bow to the Master mind Smt. Archana Sunjayji to have taken the pains to execute this dream of recreating a Gurukul experience for all of us through her honest and sincere efforts for the noble cause of the empowerment and unification of Artist community under one roof. When I think about penning down about what I procured from the workshop, I am amazed at the impact it has had on my existence as a human. My outlook at looking at any art form has taken a 180 degree turn and has led me to believe that there is such intricate subcutaneous layering that goes into understanding a work of art or to live as a seeker of  creative repertoire , I am indebted to my destiny and the almighty to have chosen me to experience this first hand. In this article I am trying to compile my understanding and perspective about various seminars talks and presentations that took place during the course of the workshop.

Kathak is seen as a medium of storytelling and the ‘Kathakaars’ took it forward from temples to spread amongst the masses as a link to Godly worship, then it was seen to be performed by courtisians when it procured its ‘Rajashraya’, it then slowly but surely got its due of being amongst the enlisted official classical dances from India to be performed on stage and appreciated by classes. When I say classes, I wouldn’t try and give it a second thought since even till this date classical dancing remains to be a topic of investment of time efforts energy patience and of course money for many years until it starts yielding its so called fruits in terms of commercial profit. There still lies a major confusion amongst many people about the differentiation between Traditional, Contemporary and Modern dance. This can be cleared when one understands that content and presentation are two different things. Similar ideas can be presented by various artists in diametrically different methods. ‘Sahitya, Sangeet, Chitrakala and Shilpakala’ readily contribute and must ideally be contributing to understanding of any dance form. A seeker must read, write, watch, listen, imbibe, soak and absorb all of the above to start his/her journey into transformation from a seeker to an artist… All artists are primarily seekers and chose to remain so…. However, not all seekers turn to become Artists.

Kathak has a language of rich abstraction yet it is never ambiguous , it is strung by ‘Vishay vastu and kram’ i.e. definite rules yet it lends liberal and ample freedom of expression to a performer. This makes it an art form closer to us, hence naturally loved and understood by the audience as well as the performer. ‘Tatkar’ is its inner pulse, ‘Thaat’ is a dynamic fluid image with subtle undercurrents of minimal movements from top to toe, yet what  it exhibits, is phenomenally striking and an epitome of grace. The initial ‘Vilambit laya vistar’ presented by a Kathak performer is rightly called ‘Thaat bandhna’ Performance is described by many as an act of sacred meditation yet to many it seems like a ritual of practice and delivery. Unless the dancer’s body, mind and soul are aligned with syncronicity, there wouldn’t be any so called ‘magic’ happening on stage. There is a difference when a performer dishes out ‘ Waah waaa’ from the public while an ARTIST generates a spontaneous ‘Ahhh ahahaa…’ from the audience. This is called a ‘Daad’.

Kathak is a dance form equivalent to the highest level of Yogic concentration. ‘Bols’ are intraforms and the ‘Padhant’ compliments the rhythm and hence the body, mind and soul trio unify during the recital enveloping the audience into an amalgamation of ethereal ‘Rasanubhava’. Here body is only a means of expression and ART takes people beyond their bodies. Riyaz makes the artist accept and assimilate the language and add on his/her own uniqueness to its translation while performing to reach out to a space beyond the mundane world. An artist must be engrossed in music, poetry, listening, hearing, music, writing and practicing. Programs come by the way and fishing programs must never be the sole purpose of learning. All art that we are doing today is Contemporary because it is a present practice happening in real time. Artform is like an ‘Ittra’ or an essense which translates itself into a fragrance when exposed to air… To every individual it signifies different meaning, for some it’s a smell, for others it becomes a treasured memory which they recreate by whiffing it constantly over their wrists or from the tiny bottle of perfume… Some may hate it  a few may love it…. Whatever the reaction it generates no one can deny its existence. 

All these artforms are closely interlinked with each other where Dance as a medium of articulation has its language in the form of ‘Chalan’, ‘Raag roop’, ‘Sanchari bhaav’ and ‘tatva vistar’ where in right from the posture to stage presence, from gait to aesthetics, from content to style everything comes under a scanner and is magnified to critical opinion as a natural progression. Performance in its physicality might have miniscule ‘Kshanbhangur’ existence on stage but by default has infinite life in the memories of the audience artist and accompanists so much so that every performance becomes etched on to the growth graph of all three components. Having said that, many artists have command over fractions of beats, mastery over ‘anvat taals’ or ‘laaykari prabhutva’ and the nuances in his craft, but very few are able to create the so called ‘Magic’ on stage. Here is one of the reasons : A performer shows bhaav with the help of ‘Ang , pratyang and upang’ over a thumri rendered live on stage, an artist becomes the Thumri. This is the highest point of joy to the seeker. Artist, accompanists as well as audience all become equal seekers in this sacred act of creation. Success  is established when THE dancer disappears and the Dance remains.

The quintessence of Kathak is that one needs to be blissfully engrossed in the sheer joy that the dance exudes. It may be in learning, practicing or watching. The quiddity of being the so called ‘exponent’ lies in the fact that one gets to readily open up and accept everything that one experiences as a ladder towards growth, there is no right or wrong and everything needs to be respected as a perspective. That is why the tenet of not sticking to the tickmarks in a preplanned presentation holds true for any presenter. What happens on stage is in no control of the said components involved, one can do the best by preparing his/her best and then let the artform take over. 

When a Kathakaar chooses to do ‘Swantsukhay Abhyas’, Kathak becomes a Yog stringing together the ‘dekhya, seekhya, rekhya’ into a blissful state of ‘ pariksha, chintan, manan and aakalan’. This is the holistic approach towards Kathak. The Kathak scholar Late Pandita Rohini Bhate rightly mentions ‘padhant’ as chanting of ‘Bols’ where the ‘lay ki karvate’ is observed through its loops and knots in the filigree of composition. One must be a Yogi who is pro-chanting and consider ‘Bols’ as mantras repeating them so much so that you get ready for the next step i.e. Improvisation. ‘Padhant’ is the poetry of ‘taal ang’ where the artist lights a lamp via perfection and ignites thousands of lamps in hearts of the audience through it…

Riyaz is a ‘yagna’ where in there is ‘samarpan’ ‘prarthana’ and ‘aahuti’. ‘Seekh’ and ‘tayyari’ manifest in an experience which is sublime yet definite, defined yet difficult to describe, immaterial yet gross and yet extremely personal and private experience to each and every person. When a dancer explores the ‘Avakasha’ or the space zero, he builds structures, geometry, designs and patterns on and over it and within it and beyond leading to a state of SO-HUM, where everything becomes one and there is one in Everything…. This ‘YAGNA’ is irreplaceable and inevitable. Broadening our minds, emerging out of mediocrity and choosing to refuse to become a victim of influence can lead us to a step closer to embracing our uniqueness as an individual. Knowing where to bow and when to stand up is the marker that will set us forth as dance exponents, seekers of experience and culminating into artists. 

This rightly explains as to why a ‘ Bharatnatyam’ performer must visit a painting exhibition or a Sculptor must attend a classical concert or an ‘Instrumental performer’ must see ceramics being made or a ‘Kathak dancer’ must go to see ancient Temples and caves not merely as a tourist but as a student… We do not need to understand everything we see to enjoy it. Dropping our conditioned beliefs towards a set of likes and dislikes and leaving our prejudice and assumptions aside, we’d be ready to go inside an exhibition or an auditorium as one person and emerge out as a changed person. There has to be more unlearning in order to open up our pores to absorb the wisdom. ‘Kala’ per say is ‘Saarvbhaum’, we do not need to understand its grammar to enjoy it, we just need to be present there at the moment of creation and it will give each one of us what it has to. 

I dedicate this article to Natraj, Gurutatva and to ART that was, is and will be ever created…

- Prajakta Sathe. 

Contemplating...

We come across so many people at different points in life. 

They seem strategically popping up at specific intervals.

We must be thankful to them for showing up. 

They have played the roles they have to play and also have taught us what we need to learn. 

There are no ifs and buts and what ifs in the way they meet us.

With time , age and experience, people fail to surprise me. 

Not that I expect wondrous miracles or melodrama...

But I kind of know to what extent a human can be good , not so good, intelligent, not so sharp, hardworking, lazy, psychotic, normal... 

All types, kinds genres, professions seem to have surpassed....

There is now only one distinguishing factor...

Energy of that human and his soul evolution...

What matters is if they vibrate in frequency attuned to mine or if there is a discrepancy in it...

I no longer fall in love or get in the awe zone... I don't even get disgusted or offended...

Because I know it's a journey and it's individual and unique and not same for all if us...

I live and let live... I talk with people I want to talk to...

I hang out with my tribe. 

Where I don't fit, I don't dwell. 

I don't give the keys of my happiness to anyone else....

I take responsibility of my own behaviour 

I am not afraid to call dud a dud and spark a spark...

This fearlessness has got to do something with being unpretentious and non judgemental....

If I ever get late because I overslept I will say so. 

If I am envious of anything I will talk it out to my Guru and ask him to help me get over it

I am a human and it's normal to have all emotions sprung up at times...

Yes there is power play.... yes there are ego issues at times...

Yes I struggle with a few issues in my personal life...

But I don't sugar coat. I want to be real and that's the goal...

There is a difference between rawness and realness...

With what you see is what you get , there are going to be pointers on various virtues...

On integrity on maturity on loyalty on personality and all the frills it comes with.

I would any die with clear conscience than lose sleep over democratic candy talk...

I have realised my strengths earlier than the weaknesses, for some it's the other way round...

But there is no option but to eventually come to know of both... 

As I type this post today I am so happy that I said No when I felt that I needed to stop something that happened a few minutes back...

I am also glad that I spoke my mind and out forth exactly what I felt like to a person who was with me...

I have a clear mind and calm heart today.... 

I know where I am Heading and exactly what it is going to take where I want to be.
There is no rush, actually no point in pushing too... what is meant to be will turn out to be exactly as it's supposed to be...
We are all seekers of one thing or the other...

So off I go on a quest...

I am eager to connect with everyone from where I m destined to be....

God bless us all...

We are good folks...

And we must know it...

- Prajakta Sathe.

Banks of Krishna

Wai happened as a pleasant surprise. Not only for its comfortable stay Nd excellent weather, but for its sheer timing and placement in the hectic schedule of vacations. Summer time is always full of to the dot pre occupied calendar. First part of May goes in the workshop and the latter part goes in a pre registered courses that I take up every year. This year I got free on the 13 th which was the last day of the workshop at my institute. The workshop was about artistic grooming and expression through different mediums. It was a grand success... Immediately after that I did a short script writing course at Learning Cinema conducted by the national award winning writer director Veena Bakshi. Two weeks of intensive training took me from a writing enthusiast to someone who now understands what it takes to write a feature film script. Though I have a long long way to go before I even think of writing a good script, I am on a good phase. I have my idea and concept clear. I must start writing really soon. It was good that my maiden scripting work was torn apart by the panel of critics... it's fantastic to be at a place where I am in writing a screenplay - zero. Excited to start over again asap. Doing the homework for it is fun. 

Wai was gentle, specially the Krushna river... it did show its aggressive face in the evening while we rafted... plus this is the closest I have been to nature since a long time... I was so happy basking in the quietness... there was green and soft sun and hammocks and coolness in the air even in the noon... the bullock cart rides, the unlimited fresh sugarcane juice, the post dinner long walks and the tent stay was breathtaking. The back door of my tent opened in a yard of lillies... what a sight to have... the lock of my tent was camel shaped and life size murals were painted by local artisans on the doors... the shamiana, the baithak, the veranda of every tent lended a cosy and inviting feel. The place was interspersed with terracotta art pieces installed strategically at various places. They took care of making it feel decked up without looking exhibition like. The food was wholesome and simple. 

What I loved is the house of Nana Phadanwis, it had such a romantic old world charm. There was nothing dingy about the one man narrow dark steep staircase and box like rooms with tiny windows.... the wooden work was so strong and intact. I wish they maintained the outskirts of this heritage place better. I was highly enraged when people littered right outside the Vaastu. I pray and hope this is declared as a heritage conservation project soon. It was funny how the men from our group got trapped in the 'wada' as the caretaker locked them and went on to cook for herself at the ground floor kitchen. The rescue operation took a few attempts since our voices from out couldn't reach her deep inside the kitchen... an instance to remember. I fell in love with the 'Ghat' outside the place. It was picturesque,  well conserved and clean. The huge 'vad, pimpal and umbar' trees surrounding the ghats lent chillingly cool shade right amidst the scorching sun. It was mystically alluring. I didn't feel like leaving the place and wondered how it appeared in the evenings... I am sure it would be magical. I am going to be revisiting it again and then going here in the evening. The open banks of the river at the other side of the Dam was phenomenally windy and beautiful in the evenings... I can go there again and again just for the sheer feel of the romance of the evenings near a water body as natural as it is.... Amazing is an understatement when I describe the aesthetically wonderful Narsimha temple. It is an architectural wonder built on a huge well and carved out of stone. I loved the beauty and I secretly wish to shoot at the place one day soon. The temple is clean. However again the place outside the temple is extremely filthy and full of garbage and stink. The Dholya ganpati is very very big idol but it fails to impress. The temple is ancient but very noisy and doesn't lend any peace... We did manage to make a quick factory tour to Mapro which was fun. Tasting various fruit n flavor based drinks n jams, shopping and eating ice cream was thoroughly enjoyed. I so wished and carved for a star gazing night... it was pitch dark... however the resort people didn't shut the railing lights. Night enveloped our tents as we played a few card games. We all slept like a baby. Wonder how, but Wai presented good sleeping pattern to me. I am a happy and a refreshed soul. Rutu farm gets a 4 on 5 stars for its hospitality and comfort. I would love to revisit this place again soon. To experience better and emerge enriched... 

I am counting my blessings as I type this blog in the comfort of my AC bedroom. I feel grateful for everything that I have and I don't have at this given moment. Another day marked in life... the quest for Living the moment...continues...

On the way to Wai...

This is from a recent trip I made. With a tiny doubt in mind , I set for a journey with my folks... my relations by blood and by birth along with a few people whom I was supposed to be with. I always start journeys with hesitancy and somehow every time it fades out as the travel period progresses... We start later than we were supposed to, but i neither crib nor complain. I am okay, this time I have taken everything more than required... stuff and time both... ample is one thing , abundance is another... I collect things in anticipation, I am boring that way... I plan and execute with precision... I rarely like surprises however I d like to improve on Spontaneity... thats been a personal goal for long... in the bag there is now a book and a pen... earlier it used to be a book to read... now I require pages to write.... and ample... sometimes I feel like scribbling sometimes I like to doodle n draw... random memoirs penned down... outspurs jotted down in points thoughts or sentences... 

Not that reading it bad.... but I find it thoroughly over rated... so is writing. Anyone can and must write... it's no big deal... when I write I suffer a bout of verbal diarrhoea ,complain my friends and I write too much... one must always do things one enjoys... do u ever complain that you get way too much salary? Lol.... no right? And thank God I don't have a fan base yet... I do have followers who read my stuff. But for most reasons they read it out of curiosity more than their liking for my style. Maybe because I don't have a style... I am not a student of literature neither have I ever been trained in writing. However I know that I can write and I must write just like any other man or woman can and must... 

Just another thing that I d like to jot down... I ve got some 67 odd friend requests on a single day and they seem to pour in and pile up with time.... I had no mood to go through them... however out of curiosity I checked last time and the requests were 116 on Facebook. Like... really? And why? Why so now? And why suddenly ? My filters are proper... only friends of friends can send me requests... but then again... it shouldn't affect me... however it is to an extent bothering me.... anyways... that's a part of what I am thinking about....

A lot many things are coming true via wishful thinking.... I was thinking about a pending payment that I was receive and it arrives in my account within a few hours... things are extremely meticulously planned to perfection...

 No matter how much we push, they will always happen when they have to... in this way I seldom think about how and how long I have come from. At a time I can see myself... I was extremely low on confidence , conscious to death, closed and timid girl to what I am today...

I opened up and started accepting consciously out of choice... this was more of a confident embrace to situations in life... there were lessons and then there were lessons... some surprises, a few dud pricks... 

I have started to realise the humongous pressure of the What now ? Or now what? And then? - questions... these don't give you space to breathe and for me Breathers are more important than the actual important events in life... 

The gaps prepare us to face the Fulls... when I was sitting in the car, I was cold then I was very hot, I was sleep deprived yet my mood wasn't shifted to the wrong side. We listened to a lot of music, surprisingly I sang many many songs.... after a point... The music too got boring... how much would one listen? Then we switched everything off... no one spoke anything... it was beautiful listening to Silence... we ate when we got hungry and closed our eyes when we wanted to... this ready to go jumping girl in me was good and well under control... 

And I am happy to be here at Wai , where life has slowed down..

 For good...

- Prajakta Sathe. 

Thin line

Indifference and non interference
Giving space and making someone feel left out
Caring for and being worried about
Loving and attachment
Helping out and over burdening someone
Inclusion and acceptance
All have a very very thin distinguishing line...
Let this not be flimsy but very clear...
Life is already a blessing.
Let us be.
Let us value the solitude we have
Different people act and behave differently at different times according to how situations are and it's perfectly okay
You can't expect a person to be perfect in your perception at all times
We all faulter
We may or may not realise
Once a thief need not always be a thief
Every person has a story and a valid one for him and her
That tale being relevent or irrelevant to us doesn't make it less important...
All of us are learning...
Education doesn't signify wisdom
Experience is never directly proportional to age
And it's human to be judgemental however this very thing needs to be unlearnt as we evolve
It's simply RUDE to Label and hence futile to gossip...
There are so many blessings in life...
Quiet doesn't meant peace
Not doing any work doesn't imply enjoying solitude
It is crucial to be aware of what's going on with US just us...
No this concentration on the feelings core won't make us self centred....it will make us more gentle more calm more human....
Let us all be... just be...
Nothing more is needed...
We all are doing our best at what we already do...
Let's just keep doing that...
Let the perceptively negative go behind...
Smile more...
That's what is needed....
Hearty laughter
Genuine acknowledgement
Hugs... tight hugs...
Holding hands...
Walking together....
Sitting besides each other....
Breathing the same air...
Feeling the connect....
We don't need to meet to bond...
We are already a part of each other in more ways than one...
I feel so blessed...
Tasmay Shree Guruve Namah
- Prajakta Sathe 

There are no enemies...

There are friends and there are friends
A set given to you by birth and blood
A set which you acquire and build over time
A set which happens by default and by company and habits
We like to call them family, relatives, best friends, buddies, pals, partners, acquaintances, neighbours, colleagues, comorades , batch mates, people known to us, people that work for us, our bosses, our HODs, our CEOs, people who ve taught us, people who have served us, people who have troubled us....
All basically are friends...
We call them friends because by choice or by chance, they have touched our lives in one way or the other
If they were ever in contact, their presence was meant to do what it did to our lives
If they are absent, their purpose in our lives is done with...
Whenever I say they, I also imply We/ us...
So either they wear off, die, distance, they are forgotten, they move away or move on...
Here distance per say is not just physical...
We move out and move on emotionally , mentally and vibrationally as well...
It's surprising to see that folks we used to hang out with and so close with at one time are so far away that we wonder what made us connect in the first place...
One thing is that our navigation charts are so different yet in subtle ways co related that every contact is absolutely significant and inevitable even if it's almost unobtrusive...
I have spoken about blueprint destiny and contracts in my previous write-ups
When I mull over the intricacy of this filigree of correlation I am amazed at how perfectly our HI and Bye points are planned in a lifetime.
We can and we must never ever say I REGRET...
Taking that path, choosing that course, taking that decision, selecting that person, getting married to this man, dating that woman, falling in love these many times, investing here, splitting up there, spending so much, earning this much, going there, coming out of that place, agreeing with them, fighting with them, accepting someone, ditching someone, getting duped, being cheated on, drifting, boozing, doping, letting her go, letting him stay, taking them in, asking them out, messing with some, getting serious about some....
What ever it might be, has made us what we are today...
Had it not been for that one instance or that moment , however miniscule it may be, we may not have been what we are....
It's the very mud n matter that we are made up of...
Grossly and ethereally...
Mistakes, achievements, crimes, collaborations, withdrawal... every bit of thing that happened has contributed on what we are....
I thank every single being that has contracted with me and consider every one as a Friend and a teacher...
I have no regrets...
My body of mere 5 elements may be perishable , and I won't be there after a set period of time in this appearance...
But I know that my soul is eternal and these friends have been with me in various roles in different lifetimes....
However good or bad the experience has been, every CONTACT was a CONTRACT and every soul is a FRIEND...
NO REGRETS...
ABSOLUTELY....
Tasmay Shree Guruve Namah
- Prajakta Sathe

Omnipresent

Life happens between the nights of blissful sleep and sleepless nights...
what disintegrates in the game is a part of cosmic dust that we already are...
into nano particles of existence that we failed to recognise...
 we keep shredding into minisculeness until we become so thin that our residue amalgamates into a cluster....
we realise it's time for rebirth...
we never knew that it was death...
 until it was time to be born again and again into a vortex of partification.
No this isn't a facade, it is a real game, believable and true...
Procreation that we think we indulge in is nothing but a rule of this contract.
The entities that we say are living or non living are always THERE just in a phase of transition. Death is right here and so is life... we Live even after we die... we keep dying while we are living...
 Soul is eternal... we put on coats of physical bodies and try to see it in dimensions within our reach and capacity...
There is so much more to see than the world, this and beyond....
Movies based on theories of dimensions facinate us... mind , subconscious , regression , progression entice us....
we'd never know what is in store until we proceed into the infinite...
 to have more than knowing more than wisdom...
 the realisation of SELF....
The awakening leading to Enlightenment... and there is more to it my Guru says... it's just a state for a few moments.
Once it gets over,the real journey starts.... where are we now?
Are we even close?
 Have we found our Guru?
 Questions we need to ask ourselves....
Thankfully, I have surrendered to my God who has held my hand forever.
Tasmay Shree Guruve Namaha
- Prajakta Sathe 

Flow and the flowing

And then there are people who are forgotten
In the hustle bustle of schedules
Busy-ness, being occupied, being productive, being creative , being successful, being something for someone of someone by someone...
Sometimes with compulsion
Sometimes with obligation
Sometimes obsessively
Few times by choice many times by chance
We like to indulge in some activity or the other
Doing nothing and having nothing to do are two different things...
The forgotten people are out of sight and hence out of mind and so out of touch...
Suddenly one day they are gone...
And nothing shakes within...
Our routine continues...
Because for us they were anyways almost not present...
They must have been significant to their folks, well... maybe...
They may be missed by them...
But we, remain unaffected by their 'NO MORE' status...
What we forget , however, is that we too are a long lost faded and almost vanished memory already for many...
And after we are gone, it won't matter one bit to them...
Actually it won't matter for anybody for that matter after a few days of mourning...
A few of us like to believe that our presence is indispensable for our people or for peeps in our inner circle...
But then, really , life moves on...
Physical presence, absence , living, dead will only be missed for a few days...
ADAPTATION is one of the most natural virtues of life and so is evolution...
We are okay with presence... we ll be okay with absence too...
So where and why does this EGO or AHAM come from?
I am this, I have done this , my parents, my kids, my office, my home, my money, my career , my life, my rules, my love, my knowledge...
It will take a lot to drop the 'MY' and the 'I'
To emerge knowing that we have infinite potential and are the very parts of the Ultimate, yet be humble and surrendering to what happens....
Giving our very best and then easing out to let destiny take the control is a universal truth
What makes us different from a few others, is the fact that some of us accept it and some fight it....
It's funny how we refuse to believe that we don't have a choice here...
Blue print is planned by us and our contracted souls along with our masters in a way which benefits for our ultimate good...
Why crib? Why chose to sulk and be negative or gossip?
Let go, leave it, set it free, breathe....
It's going to be fine...
All of us are PRECIOUS...
Tasmay Shree Guruve Namah...
- Prajakta Sathe 

Child-like...

Innocence is a virtue very selected few retain as they grow in age. When I say age, I consider it as just a number. Neither does it indicate maturity nor does it indicate experience since both are exclusively case specific and extremely variant according to individual.
                    To support my observation I d give example of my son Kanha, when he goes down in our society compound to play , he carries his play kit with him. Its bat and ball sometimes, sometimes racket and shuttle cock and at times pencil n paper for a treasure hunt. That day he came with a new blue ball, I asked him about it, he said that a friend had given it to him since his ball went down the drain. I had my doubts in mind, if he had indeed been given it or had he taken it without his friends permission. I asked him and his reply was the same... "my ball went down the drainage slit so he has given me his ball."  With my conditioned principles in place I coaxed him to return it the very next day and got him a variety of balls. He was happy....
             I casually observed them play one evening, none of the kids got shuttle cocks all had rackets... Only Kanha kept taking his shuttles down... it's easy to lose more than a few each time the shot goes off and the shuttle lands on a roof or a garage shed or beyond the compound in an overgrown wildfoliage. Within two days full set of shuttles was gone... "Now what are you going to do when this last shuttle gets lost Kanha?"
"Someone will get it from their house or I will ask you to get a new set" pat came the reply...
There was no calculation , no pretentious judgement of other behaviours, no manipulative actions....
Pure plain and simple motive PLAYTIME.
If everyone was enjoying, all was good...
And I was stunned as to why I wondered if no one got their play gear but my son...

           I felt extremely embarrassed about being this Non-innocent. Thankfully the last shuttle lasted that day...However,  the very next day I did not forget to buy a new set of shuttles as I headed back home from work...
This innocence is precious and non negotiable...

I love it when HE giggles behind the curtain when we play hide and seek at home...
I love it when HE asks me guess who's this?- as he closes my eyes from behind...
I love it when HE asks me to play school school, role playing of a chef with water in some vessels and spoon...
I love that HE calls cricket - bat ball....
I love it when he still uses the words 'maau, bhu bhu, anga, mum mum'
He asked me what happens to the stars when it's morning ( I did explain it to him with a proper globe and a make belief modelled experiment) - the wonderment was innocent...
I love it when HE asks me where did dad's cold n fever go, when he recovers???
I love it when HE comes to make me smell his hands every time he washes them...
I love it when HE finds sneezes funny...

Yes they ll grow up....
Yes they ll learn the manoeuvring...
Yes they ll become smart...
They ll be successful....
But WE have just this bit of time till they grow up to enjoy their INNOCENCE....
I have this strange hope of finding my Innocence back, amidst the hustle bustle of fast track days and run through of masks and merits of this number that defines my time on this earth this till now....
 - Prajakta Sathe

Tale 101

He announced early arrival that day...
She was excited to cook his favorite meal for him...
In hurry she slipped and fell down in the kitchen
She was shocked at how sudden it was
Yet she quickly gathered herself up and got busy preparing dinner
He came a bit late...
She let him be...
He came early for the match finals...
He Watched the screen diligently as she served him food...
He sat down for work after the match...
She tried to sleep but somehow couldn't due to the pain
She came out to pick up a muscle relaxant
He didn't even look at her
Not a word since he had arrived...
She tried her level best to apply it to her back and the swollen parts
He came very late and slept beside asking her how her day was
She told him everything that she did along with the fall
He said okay Goodnight turned his back and slept
That night it HURT more than it PAINED...

#notsotinytales

- Prajakta Sathe.

Do you want to smile?

Am I happy?
Will success make me happy?
Okay if I imagine that I have all the success in the world...
I become top notch in my field of interest.
Will I be happy?
Will money give me happiness?
If I become a billionaire... Own a private jet...an island... Power to buy anything....
Will that make me happy?
Will designation give me happiness?
I climb up the ladder... Maybe get to CEO level...own the company... Own clusters of such company... Become the owner of a huge empire...
Will that make me happy?
Will awards and titles or trophies make me happy?
Industry awards, government awards, international awards... Highest awards considered in the society...
Would that make me happy?
Recognition? Popularity? Fan following? Fame? Glamour? Political power?
Will the guarantee of retaining youth make me happy?
If I m granted the blessing of staying young always...?
Would that make me happy?
Would longevity.... Maybe conquering death? Maybe guarantee of my loved one's lives...???
Would anything above make me happy?
Can happiness be captured?
Can happiness be sealed for life...?
Can happiness be permanent ?
Is happiness important...?
What is it....? That will make me really really happy?
So many times...smallest things give me happiness....
Rains on a holiday...
Every moment of performance on stage...
New choreography that happens...
A sizzling perfect Tadka...
Undisturbed noon nap...
My students dancing well and practicing regularly and taking care of themselves...
Getting to watch my Dance teacher perform...
Painting on background to Music with a fabulous cup of chai...
Watching puppies play....
Holding a new born baby....
Making an infant laugh....
Seeing my garden bloom....
Trip to a vegetable market in the peak of spring with freshest produce ever
Coming back to a clean and tidy house...
Rearranging my cupboard...
Hot soup on a cold night...
Watching Rom coms
Sitting next to my soul mate
Holding hands of a loved one...
Hugging my favorite people...
Meeting my besties...
Eating a piping hot phulka right from the tawa to my plate....
Watching the sky which shows stars (unclouded and clear) away from city lights....

And if the above things don't happen....
Am I not happy?
Not really, I am still happy....
I have been asking myself this question time and again...
And what I realized that the level of happiness is relative and changes with not just person to person but with the same individual as he or she evolves with time....

One thing is for sure... Concentrating on things or experiences which gives me happiness definitely makes me happy... Do I ignore things that don't make me happy? No... I definitely don't ignore them...
Do I face them , fight them, struggle?
No... I let them be... They exist and hence must have some importance
I just like to not concentrate on them...
I acknowledge them... It's the presence of not so happy things that makes happiness that precious...
The theory is that there should be detachment rather from everything.
Anything that does not give me happiness but happens is for a reason... And I may or may not be responsible for it.... However the very fact that it happens is because I have written it in my blueprint in order for myself to work with the divine plan...
I am not just for myself....
My blueprint is intertwines with millions of other souls....
My happy may be someone else's not so happy....
So without judging moments by how they make us feel... Let us be grateful.... For what ever happens....
Good bad ugly happy unhappy are perceptions....
Every moment is nothing but An experience...
Every experience, A teacher....
Even striving for happiness is sometimes a stress...
Attachment to happiness is a burden....
In fact a few people secretly Romance tragedies...
We never know what would inspire whom and at what point of time?
Valuing what we already have is good...
Aspiring for better and for more is nice...
Taking efforts being regular diligent sincere is fantastic...
Eg. After working for 16 hours a day to come home to a family eager to see you is a blessing. Yes... But here happiness is relative... The man of the house may want to relax for a bit... Unwind... Sit back and have his dinner in front of the television.... Put up his legs on the recliner and watch his favorite series for a good hour... For him this would be a his me time....
For his wife and daughter this time would be their eagerly awaited family reunion in the day... The girl would want to tell her dad all about her fun time in class. The wife would be wanting to share her day...
In the above scenario no one is right or wrong...
However there are expectations...
There is me time.
They is giving... There is understanding....
Now is there a priority or importance to one person's happiness than other one's?
It is relative... It is how we take it... Expectations would burden... Self content and engrossment would ease things out...
It is okay to live and let live...
If the husband's choice is to relax And if that is important to him... Let him do that.... Why kill the deal with gyan of what he should or must do... It's his life... His priorities would make him happy... He must do just that....
The wife.... If she wants to sleep off she must... If she wants to give silent company to her husband while he watches his serial she can.... If she wants to sit and talk beside him and tell him her things while he watches his TV it's her choice.... If she wants to wait for him and wake up to have a conversation after he comes to sleep.... It's her choice.... If she wants to nag fight or complain and sulk..... It's again her choice.... The child will do what he or she wants to do.... It's non judgmental... He or she would take inspiration from how the adults in the house behave.... Influence and examples are what kids learn from.

A friend doesn't talk fondly with you anymore.... Maybe he or she is busy... Maybe he or she has prioritized things in life for his or her own good... Maybe your behaviour has changed... Maybe it's time to move on. Maybe you both need space... Rather an interval... Maybe the affection is still there and now the relationship is evolved to an extent that it's understood.... For him or her it's okay to not say it... Maybe for you it is important to express... So do what you want to do... Yell them how you feel.... Just that don't compel them to do things for you out of their comfort zone just so that you d be happy....
WE CANNOT CONTROL HOW THE OTHER PERSON WOULD/MUST BEHAVE.
It's his or her own right and no one can take that away from him or her just like no one can tell us what to do....
Whether to be gentler kinder happier giver is our choice....
It's okay to select an option which ceases to be positive in social norms...
It is our individual choice... We decide to live by it...
Live and let live...
Happily or unhappily is up to us...
So how we d like to feel is an individual choice based on our actions and response to the external precursors that happen from time to time.....
So let us be thankful for all the perceptive good and not so good things that are happening around us...
We are evolving because we are experiencing life in our perception...
Happiness is neither a myth not a reality...
It is a perception...
We can just live now.
That's the best we can do.

Tasmay Shree Guruve Namaha

- Prajakta Sathe

Present ma'am!!!

So much can be observed thought over decided upon done and practiced with regularity in our day to day lives...
I very recently made a significant change in my lifestyle
I was amongst majority of young women in the city who would grab the minutes of their eating time and multitask it into more things than just eating
I would make phone calls, would read emails, watch you tune videos or would help Kanha out with his writing homework or drawing activity while eating.
As urban clock competing humans, we are always pressed for time and hence rely on Multitasking as one of the means to cope with the lacking of it...
Well, when I got thinking as to why we do all that running every single day?
Yes, for a comfortable living, peaceful rest and Good food as the basic instinct that drives us to do what we do every day.
But then why do we have to Watch the God damn television or talk on ohones or read messages or answer mails or do random errands while we eat?
I have seen some of my closest associates eat while driving...!
One can get so busy....? That one can't find enough time to sit and eat quietly in one place...?
Is work so harsh on us that we forget  simple joys of relishing the food we eat?
Many of us wouldn't be able to recollect anything that we ate today morning (forget about remembering what we had yesterday)
Why? Why is this lack of awareness?
Why are we not present in the moment?
Recently when I Eat I just eat....
And with this there are so many minute changes that I have observed...
I understand every little speck of eating like it rightly should feel...
The bitter, salty, sweet, spicy, sour are the basics which I had never experienced in a new light before
Yes even subtle flavours are recognised and appreciated...
I am so thankful for what I see on my plate....
I feel so grateful for the nourishment it provides me...
I feel so fortunate to have been blessed to eat what I want when I want and how I want it...
I feel extremely lucky to have surroundings that lend peace and tranquility to this experience
Food is a medium to satisfy the senses and it should rightly serve the purpose...
I regularly maintain an actual Pen and paper good diary to note down all that I ate in a day and how I felt after eating it.
I kind of know if I have over eaten anytime or eaten in haste or eaten something driven out of mood fluctuation....
We all eat for various reasons...
The main reason should be hunger.
I now have begun to listen to my body. It communicates so well about its needs
And this is a wonderful relationship to have....
Being present in one moment gas slowly made me aware of how Present I should be in all other moments that I live...
I would be a typical Android woman fidgeting with my phone FB WhatsApp and networking sites at all times...
Just when Divinity decided to teach me via experience.
For 4 days, my net conked off...
Whenever I would step out if the house I would be with no data network
First day was utterly disturbing with nothing to see on over my phone...
Second day I missed updates but felt okay
Third day I did not bother unlocking the screen to look for anything...
Fourth day I know I could easily live without getting addicted....
For these four days I was present at l times of the day in whatever I did and whomever I met
I was so aware alert and sharp that I could pick up every single thing that was happening around.
I was less tired at the end of the day.
I slept better....
I hence decided to use the phone down policy when ever I was with people and hence am Working towards it....
I have all ears for what my husband kid mother friend student or maid say to me at any given point of time.
I don't keep forgetting things...
The Android tab remains closed when I m with people.
I am not a Pro yet... It will take time...
But I am so sure it will happen soon.
Being present in the moment doing feeling giving taking experiencing assimilating processing creating responding everything becomes seamless and spontaneous...
When our kids tell us excitedly about tiny stories of how their friend told them a joke and how their class teacher played a prank on them - BE PRESENT
When our spouse tells us excitedly about the upcoming project or progress in his or her field or any challenge at work - BE PRESENT
When your mom tells you about how some of her office colleagues became a grandmoms in their 40s - BE PRESENT
When your maid tells you about her sons 12th Board exam economics paper going tough - BE PRESENT
When your father tells you about their senior citizen privilege membership at a garden nearby which gives them a wide range of facilities to use - BE PRESENT
When your Girl Gang Bestie calls up to check if you think Cowl tees are passe or still in or if she could still wear one just because it makes her feel snuggle  and young... - BE PRESENT
When your inner self asks you to drop everything and take a walk, a break or a nap - BE PRESENT
Being present is the best gift we can give ourselves
We graduate from Doing to Being and gracefully so...
Inhale
Exhale
slow deep breathing
smile as you do it
BE PRESENT
Tasmay Shree Guruve Namaha

- Prajakta Sathe

Inside out...

I remember sharing notes about nutrition with parents and students of my Dance institute.
It was when I saw a few hardworking and talented students of mine gorging on Junk food before class started, I felt the need of raising the topic.
Today when parents of young kids taking up sports as a serious co curricular activity are getting serious about their nutrition requirement for optimum performance, I was concerned for students of performing arts not taking enough care of their eating patterns...
Unless one got serious about being professional performers or torch bearers in this profession which is largely visual and energy based, things weren't going to look up.
So I always make it a point of giving a pep talk about clean eating in class whenever there is a new admission.
With my personal tryst with fitness and clean eating, experience has taught me that what we eat shows on out face on our bodies and in our energy... Rujuta Diwekar has been instrumental in this awareness along with my eternal inspiration and source of wisdom, my Guruji.
The pointers which I presented in front of the parents of prospective seekers of performing arts as a serious part of their lives were as follows...

1) Eat fresh
We have a famous saying applicable to most Indian households...
Food is best when it's from pan to plate....
Hence TAAZA is best...
Fresh also means Raw. All seasonal fruits and vegetables and freshest produce when purchased less frequently from the market has lower standing time on the fridge and is cooked well before it starts wilting is the right way to go...
I admire my mom who picks up fresh stock of vegetables while her way back from office to home, and cooks it right away for dinner.
She gets another fresh stock from the market while she gets back from her morning walk and cooks it right away for breakfast n lunch...
This is such a perfect way to make sure the food is great to taste and even more so in terms of freshness....
I understand that urban working women may not have enough time to do this however it's never too late to start in our own small ways....

2) Eat Local
There was a time when I was bonkers about the exotic looking bell peppers, fragrant herb, asparagus, broccoli, mushroom varieties and corn that were foreign but new to us. However with time and research on the same I realised that what counts is the travel time of farm to mouths and carbon foot print is of serious concern in this day and hour.
Why leave our very own Mango, Jackfruit, Guava, Chickoo, Green Grapes and Sitaphal and run frantically buying Dragon fruit, Pink grapes, Kiwi, Passion fruit, Berries, Californian Apples and cherry tomatoes? Our Ber or Bor variants are good enough with ample nutrients in  them.
When the demand of local produce increases, Indian farmers will be encouraged to come up with desi crops and the import load will reduce making the economy better at sustainability, profit and ecologically balanced better...
It is okay to munch on desi matar instead of ordering Edamame beans which are exorbitant...
Both would give us proteins.
Our very own millets pulses cereals and grains are as good or even better than the plush Quinoa which is considered the saviour of many people trying to eat healthy...

3) Eat Clean
Anything that comes out of a bag, can or tetra pack is a shortcut.
I am talking about processed food here. By minimising the packaged food in our diets we are allowing minimum exposure to harmful chemicals and additives that may enter our body through products from a packet.
This includes all biscuits, cookies, cakes, chips, instant noodles, processed butter cheeses etc.
We are fortunate to have options... Home cooked rules all the time...

4) Eat home cooked meals
Home made white butter, ghee, laddu, chiwda, kheer, roti subzi, Dals, rice, kachumbar, raita, chutney is fantastic. We can have it without guilt.
Til Gul ladu in sankrant, halim/aliv or dink/methi ladoos for new lactating mothers or for everyone to have in winters, aam panna or kokun sharbat and morawla in summers, home fried bhajiyas ( once in a season) during monsoons - all of this is with a well thought over purpose and with a scientific reason.
Anything which is home cooked, fresh and when moderately consumed in synchronisation with the season is always good for us.

Quick snacks.
1) Soaked or dry almonds with dates or khareek ( dry dates)
2) Walnuts with raisins
3) Cashews with jardalu/khubani/apricots
4) Pistas with dry anjeer

This fruit and nut combo is great as a pre energy consuming activity

Quick meals
1) boiled sprout chat
2) banana roti roll with ghee
3) dates roti roll with ghee
4) roasted chana and jaggery
5) roti subji roll with salad shreds for crunch and a hint of fresh chutney ( wraps or franky- homemade and fresh)

Add on fillers,
1) cucumber/ carrot/ radish sticks with or without a yogurt dip.
2) Homemade Chiwda
3) Chaas with or without masala
4) fruit of choice ( I find grapes, bananas and apples great to eat and least messy while travelling)

Post hectic energy consuming activity
One must be careful to include good protein sources like paneer, sprouts, dal, egg whites or poultry  (for non vegetarians.) in their post activity meal.

With proper awareness and commitment to CLEAN eating sky is the limit when it comes to what one can achieve.
I now understand that food cannot be labelled or measured in terms of just the calorific value... It lends much more to our bodies than calories.
It is nutrient dense vibrational energy source... This is called life force energy or Prana.
Freshest raw produce vibrates at a higher frequency
Cooked food next to it....
Stored, stale or packaged food contains least energy and hence isn't much beneficial to our overall well-being...
When I now feel like having a bowl of soup... I just don't open up and pour it off from a packet but I start from scratch... Steaming boiling blanching.... Whatever it takes....
It is all worth the effort....
After all our body is a Divine gift to us and it's our utmost and ultimate responsibility to take good care of it.
Don't we all notice how fresh we feel after eating a bowl of freshly cut watermelon or shredded tossed salad.... Yes it's pure vibrating energy food that's nourishing every cell from within.

So next time before class starts, for your own sake, Don't open a bag of chips or a pack of biscuits, it's not going to make any good. Open up your tiffin and eat.
Eating clean is the only way to go.
It will 100 percent show on our face and the energy we exude... The freshness, the glow, the skin, the smile... Say it all...

The above points are written considering that all of us lead or intent to lead a relatively active lifestyle and undertake at least some physical activity or exercise per day.
Cheers to moving more and eating clean....

Tasmay Shree Guruve Namaha.

- Prajakta Sathe

Q and A

A set of questions which recently acquired a new meaning in my perspective...
I ve been asked a few of these over the last few months by various people, friends, family members as well as acquaintances and I am amused as to how similar questions get repeated over and over again....
With the write ups, I have had these asked on social media messengers and watsapp and over the phone too...  I decided to write about it...

Do you read?
No

Since when?
Since 2014. However,  I keep referring to Amrit, the book written by my Guruji from time to time.

Why?
Because I don't feel like

Did you read earlier?
Yes

Why was that?
Because reading gave me pleasure then.

How staunch are you in this non reading phase?
Nothing hard and fast about it... I do read anything that interests me... It can be anything...magazine, stories, articles, novels, biographies, facts, fiction, sci fi stuff, designs, music, food, fitness.... anything...

Could you name a few things that you would definitely not read about?
Politics, cricket, violence...

Do you watch news?
Nope

Why?
I don't think it lends any value to my time.

Do you feel out of place in a group of people who happen to talk about these things?
I somehow rarely get myself in a place or a bunch of people where cricket politics or violence is talked about... And even I am, I  am a witness, an observer, a silent presence in the room... I do not participate actively. I am quiet...And I don't feel left out or odd... I am happy to listen...

Do you move out of that place then...?
If I have something more interesting to be done at that time, I definitely move out and get bust doing that... Or else I just be there... I prefer to hold a neutral stand... No accepting , no rejecting..

How about a random group of people that you encounter and are kept in...can you go on having a conversation with just about anyone?
In most cases I do end up having a great verbal or non verbal conversation with people I am with, irrespective of whether I am meeting them for the first time or the nth time...

What is this non verbal conversation?
When we speak... We never just speak what we hear... Our body emotes with us ... Our eyes communicate... Our aura does more talking than we do...
So it isn't necessary that we have a one on one vocally audible conversation. I have had some of the most profound and engrossing conversations non verbally.

Why do you write?
I write because it's an inner calling which I am focussing on without any doubts... I find that this act is giving me peace pleasure and satisfaction. It isn't a compulsive thing... The day I don't feel like writing , I don't write...
And everything is worth if its spontaneous... Specially writing...

Don't you feel that if you read more, watch more or talk more, you could write better?
Getting better in writing is not the point at all... It may or may not happen eventually... The only point here is we should be able to do what we really want to do... Information Knowledge and Wisdom are significantly different things... And there has to be enough personal clarity on what one seeks... I know what I want and hence there is no doubt as to the purpose of me doing one thing or not doing another thing...
Tomorrow if I feel like I must read or watch or talk, I would... Nothing is a taboo, nothing is compulsively prohibited...

So what is your policy right now?
Hahaha.... What policies ya... I m happy doing my thing and I am happy that others are doing their stuff... When a collaboration comes up I am sure I'll give my best and let you decide what and how you want to give... No expectations no disappointments....

What is this phase of positivity all about...?
Positive negative is a perspective...
We cannot label... It's not a phase but a sense of belonging... I feel I am in a positive mode right now... It might not be as positive in your view... Like I said earlier.... To each his/her own... Live and let live...

Does that mean you won't help?
I will should and must help when I am asked for and when the need arises...
Why gush over it until it happens...? We are all helping each other quite a lot by just being ourselves and in our own ways...significant or subtle....

How do you relax?
I am relaxed most of the times. I don't have to set up an alarm for it... I am already relaxed.... Though I d like to sleep more...

Where do you see yourself in the future?
Ahh ... I don't know... Right now I am here , I feel good and that's all I can tell you.

Who's behind all this?
My Guruji Naushir.

Tasmay Shree Guruve Namaha

- Prajakta Sathe

Close our eyes....

I had the very first mango of the season  yesterday...
The very first bite was with my eyes closed...
Relishing the piece of juicy awesomeness, the taste, the flavour, the aroma...
This is how most of us taste our favorite things... Isn't it? We CLOSE OUR EYES....
It is hot now...most of the pot plants and compound plants have their base mud in cracks daily...
I eagerly await the moment when the gardener waters the plants and I plan a walk in the compound just at the same time to smell the awesome heady earthy moistness in the air...
All of us by default, CLOSE OUR EYES to smell the heavenly wet mud after the first showers...
I rarely get to go by the sea shore...
Walking on the sand with company is one of my favorite things to do...
Many of us love being by the beach to chill out and relax...
While most of us like to do our own things, some swim or hang out in water , some do adventure water sports, some build castles, a few others eat and drink merry, yet another group just enjoys the sunrise and sunset...
Well what most of us do eventually is, that we CLOSE OUR EYES, to hear the waves crashing near or far, the breeze flowing through our hair, the saltiness and the humidity, typical on shore weather....
What are your favorite flowers?
Mine are mogra and swarnchampa or sonchapha.... I always take the first whiff of its beauty by my eyes closed...
Music lovers that all of us are, we listen to a pure rendition and we automatically CLOSE OUR EYES...
We come back from work sit on the sofa and relax drink a glass of water and let out a hussssshhhh and yes WE CLOSE OUR EYES...
Yog practitioners or individuals who meditate prefer to CLOSE OUR EYES while we are at it...
If we've ever picked a newborn and held it close to our cheeks or near our heart, if we have ever tried to calm down a crying baby by patting... we are most likely to CLOSE OUR EYES
Whenever we meet our besties or our loved ones after a long long time, we hug them and we hug them tight and long....we CLOSE OUR EYES...
We CLOSE OUR EYES when we kiss...
We CLOSE OUR EYES when we pray or bow down to show respect to someone...
We CLOSE OUR EYES when we are overwhelmed and teary...
We CLOSE OUR EYES when we sneeze and often when we yawn...
We CLOSE OUR EYES when we are in fear...
We CLOSE OUR EYES when we do that last rep of a heavy set in gym...that last pull or push or lift....which is totally worth it...give all our strength and effort....
There are soooooooooooooo many other things that are better with our eyes closed....
We CLOSE OUR EYES when we sleep...
When eyes are such a blessing in life...
Why do we close them at moments of utmost importance or significance...
We are visual beings and are driven by images and scenes....
Why do we have to CLOSE OUR EYES...?
Scientifically, interacting with both physical and visual stimuli, the brain cannot fully appreciate the physical when distracted with the visual.
Well, vision is a blessing yet if most precious things are felt with our eyes closed, it means that we do need to close our eyes more often....
Except for fear sneeze or yawn, which is not much in our control or hands,
all other things mentioned above are things that give us pleasure, are things that make is happy...
We should and must do things that make us joyous more often right?
Smell the flowers, smell the air in natural environment, eat fresh, meditate, chant, pray, listen to music, taste what you love, be in the Greens or by the sea, meet our loved ones, hug, hold, kiss, carry a baby, feel the innocence and the tenderness, caress a sleeping child, relax after  long day, sing , thank with our heart, sleep....feel...know...be aware with getting lost in the feel world....
It is beautiful, it is precious, it's just what we need.....
We are so blessed because we know what makes us happy....
Let us do it more often ....
We just need to CLOSE OUR EYES....
Tasmay Shree Guruve Namaha

- Prajakta Sathe