a night....of...

good creative satisfaction is like a profound orgasm. in sheer desperation of creating something, may it be love or art, an artist or a person caresses his or her medium of expression through all five senses and most probably and importantly the sixth one too!!! dont ask me what that one is, for i may tell you the truth that would embarrass many. what one does with his or her 5 senses while making love is to its own but as an artist and a sexy one at that i would say that the feeling is no less than the former.

so i wake up at the middle of the night after incessant tossing and turning in bed out of sheer boredom. the solution could be getting a kinky dose of love or a sensual dose of art. i chose the latter to paint... paint for the whole night satisfying my urges and instincts. the brush strokes, the rhythm of paints, the swirl of colors, the curves of sketches, the sharpened pencils......all made me scream with pleasure.

i begin and continue to caress and make love to my canvas. i used brush and hands at times a cotton swab... the shades intensify the joy of experiencing the whole process. and mind u this was more mess than the act of making love.... your hands get dirty and u get coloured all over.... (as if they wud remain spic otherwise..hehe). i finish by dawn....all soaked in the paint and sweat.... nope, art doesnt need air conditioning.... i am calm satiated and relieved... tired, just enough to crash on the couch next to my painting desk... the glow on my face says it all..... and i have done IT , yet again!!! :D

tagged...

it was around 10.44 p.m. yesterday... had been sleeping since an hour then coz i d had a long day at work and was tired. it was a super sound sleep where u dont know if the mind takes over the body or the other way round. but for a 25 year old to b bed by 9.35 p.m. is tad too early.... so the clock struck 10.44 and i woke up screaming and crying for breath.... i could not breathe.


i generally take a pillow below my neck and one above my ears sleeping sideways.... so i thought mayb in deep sleep the pillow might have slipped over my nose and mouth blocking the air.... so i started breathing heavily... opened my mouth and gasped for breath.... with each passing second the process was getting difficult and i was getting scared.... this hadnt happened anytime before in my life and i dint know wot was coming ahead.... believe me when i say, i was scared to the hilt.... i was shit afraid...

i cannot explain what happens when one cannot breathe but u can certainly experience it by closing ur nose and mouth for some seconds untill u cant handle more. i called up mom and cried out to her in anguish.... she tried to calm me down but in vain... she told me to have a hot compress over my chest to bring relief as a first aid and to have some mentho balm rubbed over my nose. it helped but only a bit....


so i decided to drive to the hospital.... the journey shud have taken not more than 15 mins at 11.30 p.m. but it seemed like a never ending path. we got myself in the o.p.d. got the b.p. pulse beats checked and everything seemed to b normal. thank god it had no cardiac undertones.... i was relieved and so were my parents. but the doc said it was an alergic reaction to something that triggered an asthmatic attack.... we r still trying to find out what allergen is responsible ...while i still breathe more heavily than normal, i am on medications and hope to b fit and fine very soon.... while i get ready for the new plays rehearsals scheduled for today noon.... i ve been tagged as "ALLERGIC" .

so guys....here's to a new tag.....and a new way of living life..........cherishing every breath i take.... the importance of what has been given to me by nature........to take life seriously and think about everything all over again........the awakening within(maybe).... CHEERS!!!!!!!

confrontations...

kal ratri, madhyaratrich mhana.... mi samori gele.... bindhadak pane na kasli tama balagta.... na phar kshanancha vilamb karta....

i went ahead..........
just went ahead..........
there were questions , some rhetorical as well!!!
some unwanted some intrudingly obnoxious.......
but i had to do it. confrontations are with 'ifs' and 'buts'.........
they are about preconceieved notions and unrealistic expectations.....
life is strange and we know it all...
but not as if we arent prepared to face it...
just that running away or avoiding is so very comfortable....
and in our minds lucrative to our ego...
people hurt people love and people also misunderstand u.......
and many a times u are wrong.
but then who defines the negations in this world?
the same people who teach us to b positive?
and does it still surprise us every single day
that we r surrounded by hypocrites which we love..........
and still keep on latching on to???
and then we care a little less before starting the blame game ...
like you are... you have...you havent...you arent... did you...why did you..........
hahaha...i also pity the i am's....... i will......... i was......... i have been........ i did...
but in all this rubadub.... the outcome is pure simple disgust.....
confrontations are unavoidable evils....
which soothe hurting egos.....period!!!

Minerva experience...

A courtyard in the luscious greens
Made up of marble pristine white
Evening sunlight bathing it in golden hues
Dressed in robes of nature
Awakening the earth with a thousand ghungroos
The hands flowing along with the wind
Slowly bejeweled with twilight stars
Waiting for krishna to be
In his arms to rest for life
Only to wake up feeling divine
Wondering if its He or Me....!!!

vedepana...

Maaticha gandh
Hava hi dhund
Darvalala sugandh
Aathavanincha

Aathavala maz
To kshan, to tu ni ti mi hi...
Jevha padla visar sara...

shaharlas tu
moharale mi
ni baharalo soghe apan...
Manavar korleli athvan

jaude na....
jad shabda na vaparta
evdhech sangte
ki...
VED LAGLE HOTE...