When...

To all the occasional readers of my blog, 'tahedil se maafi maang rahi hun, uun lawzon ke liye jin se maine shayad kisi shaks ko dard pahuchaya hai.'i mean i did not mean to be so negative or sarcastic or generally a snobby sulky gal yelling about the darker things in my personal life to the world, just that it was in a f**k*d up state of mind dat i ve written a word with negativity at par. i ve started looking at finer nuiances life has to offer that unfolds into a great network of emotional turmoil n THE kickass creation of the almighty MAN....hehehe no i m not zhadofying philosophy have i ve got into any obssessive compulsive disorder of sainthood, but i surely do find some dept in "adhyatma" and kind of find solace in reading about some things which are beyond our imagination and understanding...its still about wot makes us so very special and thec search of who I am or whether it matters to whom dat wot we do or how we do it....just like we have a saying in marathi 'bot dila tar haat pakadane' or 'mati mau lagli ki koparane khanane' i ve experienced several important people in my life quite living up to the mark of the above quotes making me aware all of a sudden about restandardising their position in my emotional ladder. a short story which i wud like to share...that has made a significant difference in how I AM today. I once met this guy on a social networking site.he who was supposedly quite bowled over by my profile (i m quoting his outlook and am not on a self praise spree) We casually started mailing each other n then chatted online. this was followed by an exchange of cell numbers. smses n occassional phone calls followed later. n we kind of got hitched. yes,believe it or not i did turn out to be an emotional fool like thousands of women all over. with every word of mine he seemed to go weak in his knees and he did make me feel dat i was d most beautiful lady on this planet earth...days went by so did our involvement in each other....cupid did strike d arrow at a puuuuuurfect angle n hit it at d bulls eye.....our hearts. a point came where we had confront each other about our personal expectations since we knew we were in love. i suddenly had an introspective n thought, "hey, am i dating a man far below my standard?" wot an super idiot i was again to have thought about it in this way after FALLING in love. yes , thats y its called "FALLING" isnt it. agreed he wasnt a kind i was supposed to seek but then hey, again....it was love and as they say, EVERYTHING IS FAIR IN LOVE N WAR. so following the tradition i had A WAR also ... hahaha ofcourse with him. about who calls whom and how many times and y do i give in my 1000 percent and not get his mere 50 % and how he is always heldback and never tries to experiment and let go....etc.......ahh....yes. it was bitter and it did hurt d both of us. and i still know dat he is not worth it. BUT ...........LOVE IS BLIND and so am I. this is a story till now....will be continued here after....watch out for the hills n slopes n rocks n smooth turns..i call it another yash raj film glossy flick...giving it an offbeat name of parallel cinema...can u suggest a few names? please do...hehehe . and yes thanks for reading all this crap. i meant nothing actually.....NOTHING. just forget it. Taken from Twinkleballs

1. flashing your smile to someone u don’t want to see.

2. bringing back the feeling u’ve learned to forget.

3. showing that u care.

4. finding a way to mend a broken heart.

5. learning that u’ve been used by someone u truly love.

6. saying “i love you” when you mean it and when you don’t.

7. letting go of a person u’ve just learned to love.

8. realizing that u love somebody u’ve just taken for granted.

9. realizing that u love the person u’ve just broken up with.

10. waiting for promises you know he’ll never keep.

11. saving ur love for someone who loves somebody else.

12. reminiscing the good times u shared together.

13. shielding ur heart to love somebody.

14. trying to hide what u really feel.

15. having a commitment with someone that u know would not last.

16. trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from ur eyes.

17. sharing the one u love with someone else.

18. loving a person too much.

19. giving up someone u never thought of giving up.

20. falling in love for the first time.

21. loving someone you haven’t seen.

22. having the right love at the wrong time.

23. exerting effort to make the relationship last or work.

24. not being appreciated when u know u’ve given ur best.

25. taking the risk to fall in love again.

26. hiding ur relationship from someone else.

27. controlling ur feelings to avoid hurting a friend

28. choosing between 2 persons whom u really love.

29. finding out that u can never have the person u just let go off.

30. seeing the person u love with someone else

Peach

music: Tillmann words: Netschio

I don´t know what to feel but roses I keep on holding breath until the Night falls on my lonely bed That was before the earth quaked I haven´t felt like this for ages I cannot help but thinking of the Endless times we spend in line That was before the earth quaked I could see the lines on your face And your green eyes turn to grey But I will never see a reason I should ever go away You could feel me drive into places Still unknown until the day I saw your innocence deceasing Like a flower in the drain Was it the scent, the smile on your face Was it your silky skin, your fluffy hair Around your neck that made me feel We were about to earthquake I guess I walked the air, out of mind Forgot about the clerk, the change and Drowned into the pools of your green eyes We were about to earthquake